In the beginning we started out the same.
But do you realize that now, we are the total opposites?
Do you crave to travel? Move to different places year after year, and interact with different races, learning their new cultures? Because I’m so sick of these long flights, wandering aimlessly without a place to stay.
You were my safe haven. One that I thought would never change.
Anyone but you. Anyone in the world but you.
You were the only person I could look back to see that nothing had changed. You were the only person that could not be changed. You should have been exactly the same way I left you. You were supposed to be there, reminding me of where I was from.
You were my only hope. You see, I no longer know who I am.
Please, remind me of the girl I used to be. But love, you won’t know. You will never know who I really am, or what I’ve done, or what I’ve seen. I'm so confused. I know you are too. We're both confused. We are too young to figure out the exact moment life started to change.
It was good, wasn't it? Good old days. At least it was for me. Holding hands, sharing our memories, we were invincible you and me. We shared the same sky. We had the same blood.
Are you sick of your life? You've had the same house, same school, and same familiar people from the day you were born. I bet you have never even been on a plane. Are you looking for a way out?
Because all I wish for is a place to go back, without feeling lost. I want to surround myself with people I've known for years, streets I've known by heart, and a home that brings me comfort. That is all I want. I'm sick of being the new girl who comes and goes. I wish to stay.
I remember. Holding hands, we roamed around the streets like we ruled the city. The whole world was ours. I miss the smell of the morning air in the mountains. Miss the smell of cool rain drops in summer air, and sliding the snow hills on top of cardboard papers. You might not remember all these. You might not care. You might have never even thought of them before. But for me, these memories are always in my head, being constantly replayed on my mind. I treasure them so much. I will always miss those times.
To me, you were a flower, stuck on the ground, blooming in the spring and withering in the winter. I must have been a butterfly, who bloomed flowers like you, without even a place to stay. I'm still wandering, looking for a place to rest.
Do you understand what I'm talking about? Can you even hear me? I am not the girl you used to know. I am not the girl you‘ve known all your life. I've seen so many things, things that I shouldn’t have seen. Known things I shouldn’t even have known, said things I could never take back. I’m scared. I've changed so much that I don't even recognize my own self. I’m scared. I’m scared. I’m so ******* scared. Help me. I need you. Talk to me. I'm so lonely. Do you feel my loneliness?
Please don't treat me like everybody else. I'm supposed to be different. We are supposed to be real. We have the same blood. We were from the same place. We started out the same. We had grown up together.
How did we ever come to this? I know you. I know us. This world is not what we thought it would be. But please, don't be a stranger. *You of anyone.
A letter to my cousin. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come save me.
