"why are you so insecure?" repeat. repeat. repeat.
why wouldn't I be?
do you know the ache of being me?
I never learned how to love myself, and I've never really seen anything to love
It is only me. it's impossible to feel confident when you hate every inch of your body
to be trapped in my mind, is like being publicly criticized just like
Your worst dream, but every night
my disgusting body, the life I keep trying to find
and then ask again.
why are you so insecure?
This is no disguise
Try and see through these aching eyes

4 out of 5 become different.
But the one will change the world.
So why not me?

I've got the plans but no action.
Seems I'm no different than the 4 and 3.
Except I'm not dependent on chlorine or finding the right thing to make me happy.

1 and 2 just remind me that we can all fall into the ability of finding ways of not being so panicky.
Though hold your breath deep and hope these things will stay for a while.
So why not me...
Chlorine and the Right Thing seem so easy and the thing that keeps them from being shakey helps them.
So why not me?
I've already found my thing but the sad truth is there's no way out.

Counseling is a way
Sure talk about why it seems so wrong.
Even though I caught you looking at them the way I do, you still lecture me as if you're not doing it.
Hypocrite...

I admit I'm an addict
But could you blame me as they blame themselves.
Excuse this excuse that.
So why not me....

finally getting skinnier
numbers dropping on the scale
head's hurting, but that's alright
getting dizzy, but that's fine
one more
just lose one more pound
repeat
i'm fine

Annoited within the bleeding
Left falling in broken endings
A story built on our showers
A horror built up like towers

Humanity is resetting
Repeating all of our actions
Resulting in stories setting
A looping theme of the masses

A tragedy's in progression
No peace sent into the pending
Will, we ever have a session
That'll end without us pleading

Absence in understanding
We'd not know what's up ahead
As we wander the forest thinking
We've won when we've lost instead.

You take pictures of books you'll never read
write words you'll never truly know
and speak ideas taken from people that did.

But it's so common
and you're not the only one doing it
it's a whole spectrum of people
creating nothing
but consuming everything.

They may be just words,
but those words belong to someone
and without the person
they act without purpose--
repeatable, but with no meaning.

So few take what they have
to mold reality into new creations
that eventually the consuming will be consumed.
Leaving only an echo of what used to be
the cacophony of life--
it will become a mass of sounds
unrecognizable to the words we used to know.

i can't seem to sleep
your touch lingers on my thoughts
you're always on my mind
collecting all the dust
cleaning out all the bad stuff
it's moving day for us
we've been turning this into something good
if that's really the truth, why am i up so long -
my eyelids like weights
my body like quicksand,
stuck in this place called "you" -
thinking about us and how it could all be so wrong
"never date your ex"
isn't that what they say?
i always tell myself that so why can't i stay away?
i'm stuck in this tidal wave
you're pulling me in
pulling me in
i'm afraid i might be pulled under again, you see
i do not want to drown again
not again
not because of you
honey, if you're going to stay, please just stay for good
why tear down my walls again like you're just chopping up wood
with an ax
right where it hurts the most
and the scary thing is, if you left, it probably wouldn't hurt
it's just a battle on repeat
the same wound again, i'm numb
you can't hurt me anymore
so if you're going to hurt me, just do it
that way, i wouldn't have to peek around every corner
wondering if it's the end of us