Annoited within the bleeding
Left falling in broken endings
A story built on our showers
A horror built up like towers

Humanity is resetting
Repeating all of our actions
Resulting in stories setting
A looping theme of the masses

A tragedy's in progression
No peace sent into the pending
Will, we ever have a session
That'll end without us pleading

Absence in understanding
We'd not know what's up ahead
As we wander the forest thinking
We've won when we've lost instead.

You take pictures of books you'll never read
write words you'll never truly know
and speak ideas taken from people that did.

But it's so common
and you're not the only one doing it
it's a whole spectrum of people
creating nothing
but consuming everything.

They may be just words,
but those words belong to someone
and without the person
they act without purpose--
repeatable, but with no meaning.

So few take what they have
to mold reality into new creations
that eventually the consuming will be consumed.
Leaving only an echo of what used to be
the cacophony of life--
it will become a mass of sounds
unrecognizable to the words we used to know.

i can't seem to sleep
your touch lingers on my thoughts
you're always on my mind
collecting all the dust
cleaning out all the bad stuff
it's moving day for us
we've been turning this into something good
if that's really the truth, why am i up so long -
my eyelids like weights
my body like quicksand,
stuck in this place called "you" -
thinking about us and how it could all be so wrong
"never date your ex"
isn't that what they say?
i always tell myself that so why can't i stay away?
i'm stuck in this tidal wave
you're pulling me in
pulling me in
i'm afraid i might be pulled under again, you see
i do not want to drown again
not again
not because of you
honey, if you're going to stay, please just stay for good
why tear down my walls again like you're just chopping up wood
with an ax
right where it hurts the most
and the scary thing is, if you left, it probably wouldn't hurt
it's just a battle on repeat
the same wound again, i'm numb
you can't hurt me anymore
so if you're going to hurt me, just do it
that way, i wouldn't have to peek around every corner
wondering if it's the end of us

I don't think I know
where to begin or
where to go
How to leave chance behind
how to change perceptions
how to treat my own mind

I don't know
why I have this need
to share and to show
Exactly where I stand
ever spilling heart in hand

I don't know why
I keep asking for truth
from strangers only passing by
Same old retreat
numbing sadness on repeat

I have no idea
what to tell you now
how to make myself more clear
How to leave and how to save
how to make my feet behave

I'm a glass full of shards
a peculiar collection
lots of shiny unknown parts
I don't know who I am anymore
I don't think I knew before

Today I woke with a familiar dread
a storm of my own;
a whirlwind of insecurities

It's an intrusive self-created enemy,
that disguises my fears as truths

There have been nights too
where I sleep with my demon
and once again awake to yesterday's past

Repeat.

They keep ratcheting up the pressure
They keep hatcheting for good measure
They keep laughing at their leisure
They keep blasting guns for pleasure
Creating a series of tubes
Where every which way I lose

There's an existential
Differential
From my potential
That's unintentional
For I want to be better
Than the scarlet letter
That's my resume header
And my pain embedder

But there's a series of events
That keep happening
That leaves everyone incensed
They start attacking me
Until I take my mask off
They uncomfortably back off
Get in their rocket and blast off
Until it's humanity I'm the last of

There's a pattern
That gives me purpose
So I climb a ladder
Of fruitless searches
For a freedom purchase
From a shame merchant
Who offers the joy of fantasy
At the price of a crushing reality
So I can hear Satan answering
As a doctor trying to cure my malady

I feel shame
Then humiliation
This repetitive game
Provides inspiration
To avoid every friendship
Because my love will end it
And bring a torture endless
So either way I'll be friendless
After I reluctantly ask
And they say no
Am I still expected to bask
In their beautiful glow?

I see a range of emotions
From pathetic pity to anger
Always leaving the notion
I live in a city of strangers
And walls of concrete
That can't be beat
One must take a seat
And accept defeat
Then repeat