I used to think I knew what heartbreak felt like.
When I came home and saw my bed freshly made and your clothes were out of the closet.
When I saw there was one last cup of coffee left on he counter that you had time to drink.
When I saw the note and your words I barely had time to read.
Because I ran to the garage to see your car and your things were gone.

I used to think heartbreak was sitting alone in a cafe while you watched everyone laugh and smile.
Or walking around the grocery store trying to find food to make for one person.
Or dreaming of endless romantic vacations with you.. When there is no "you" once me.

But the minute I realized you had enough time to drink coffee and write me a note saying you were never coming back.
That's when I realized what real heartbreak was.

I walk around my boxed up house
and carefully step around the edges,
scoot around the clutter and ignore the blankness
this house no longer feels much like home
not since the warmth of familiar things
have been boxed up, taken down or thrown away
it was all so sad how quickly
my home disappeared behind cardboard
and just became this temporary space before we move on,
just a place to sleep
I no longer look at a room and find its potential
or care too much about how it looks
because these aren't my rooms anymore
there is no future here between myself and these walls
it's bittersweet to think back on the memories made here
not all of them were good,
but not all were bad either
in the near two years spent here
we grew
together and apart
and back together again
turning a space from four walls to
a house we called home
the boxes are like a metaphor to my life,
to the unavoidable change that will occur in a few months,

change is in the air
and soon the long, hot, dog days of summer
are going to fade into colorful leaves sweeping the earth,
cool breezes in the window late at night,
and the end of summer, the last one of its kind for us, will be envitable
and
just like the time of the seasons
as the world slips into fall
  our ending in this time of our lives
will slip suddenly through our fingertips and give way to something a new,
sudden yet almost unnoticeable
but also completely, irrevocably welcome