I can pack all my belongings into a single bag
But I cannot condensed my thoughts into a single universe
I can wipe away tears
and wrap my arms around a friend
to comfort him
when I am saying goodbye to someone I have known since the day I was born
but I cannot hide the turmoil so well
when I crouch on the bedroom floor
packing for him
getting ready to live without him.
2355 November 15 2018
Did you notice as you were packing
I was too
Packing up things to give away
Shedding what we don’t need
Emptying the nest
And now the house is a mess
There are boxes all around
Books off their shelves
Things out of place
It’s not going to get better unless I take a stab
Because the house is just a mess
my friends they ask me
why i haven’t packed.
i say i do not know.
when really it is quite obvious,
i have difficulties
with letting go.
before i pack all my belongings
before i’m ready to leave the nest
i must pack up my soul
and carry in it all i love.
i need to take with me
all those times my mom
made me chocolate chip pancakes.
i have to
memorize the faces of every one
of my friends
until i can recall each of
their smiles and traits.
i want to fold my grandpa’s laughter
like a shirt that i can tuck away
in the drawer of my mind.
and i want to hold on
to those moments,
the one’s that make letting go
i think that if i manage
to pack up
every bit of my heart,
then it won’t matter
what i put inside my luggage.
i will always be carrying
no matter how far
we are apart.
because i literally packed a day before leaving. hardest thing ever.
© Copywrite Rosa Lía Elías
Today I go to pack my bags for what
I need in the journey ahead of me
A camera and four books (not quite a lot)
And enough songs to last me for a week
Then comes the clothing and the toiletries
Packed compacted to last for a fortnight
Then I'll pack some card based activities
And something soft for my head to rest right
And finally, a pen, pencil, and pad
For my first trip with this site that I have
Leaving for a two week trip to Ireland and the UK tomorrow.
This place is sad without you
It heaves a sigh
Emptying it of our things
Signifies the end of making memories here
The end of filling the air between these walls
With our voices, laughter
I want to load the memories onto a hard drive
And preserve them perfectly
So I won't forget them
I'm afraid to shut the door
And leave forever
the rooms cultivate together
the walls fold into each other
try to save it for sunnier weather
but i am too impatient
too eager to get this splinter out
when plumes of toxic feelings sprout
how do you walk away
from the things that protect?
will it ever be the day
the tremors stop melting all the clay?
in my mind the rain stings
it melts into my pores
it triggers the thoughts of
things i once cared so much for
it helps me see
right now might not be how it is
one day soon
i will lie down in the tall grass
and call out for the bright
warm rays of the sun
to take me into their force
and keep me as warm as i need
to survive in a place that fire
Once again, we're set to head off,
all of our belongings cramped and boxed up.
We're hoping this will finally be our place to settle down,
but we'll keep our stuff like this,
just in advance for the next town.
It won't be our home and I know this,
we'll just have to leave again and again,
never finding a place that we'll actually fit,
but I'll keep these thoughts boxed up,
in order not to get my thoughts down.
We'll keep our stuff boxed up,
in order to be ready for the next town.
It's just a continous cycle of moving around.
I used to think I knew what heartbreak felt like.
When I came home and saw my bed freshly made and your clothes were out of the closet.
When I saw there was one last cup of coffee left on he counter that you had time to drink.
When I saw the note and your words I barely had time to read.
Because I ran to the garage to see your car and your things were gone.
I used to think heartbreak was sitting alone in a cafe while you watched everyone laugh and smile.
Or walking around the grocery store trying to find food to make for one person.
Or dreaming of endless romantic vacations with you.. When there is no "you" once me.
But the minute I realized you had enough time to drink coffee and write me a note saying you were never coming back.
That's when I realized what real heartbreak was.