No I don't have to lie ,
May be I do but it's all clear in my eyes ,
No bag full of passion is clinging behind,

No I don't have to lie,
We might talk or not but the secrecy of our needs we'll hide,
Right?

No I don't have to lie ,
Don't worry I won't write books about what you've done  & doing side by side ,
First define your dreams ; what you need so that you won't break someone's feeling for the next time ,

No I don't have to lie ,
Sparks we had the sweetest envy we shared but we dried ,
Thousands of words are tinted dull ; now it's a half bareland of trust and needy appetite.

No I don't have to lie,
No I don't have to lie.

Someone once told me that I fat.
They said it behind my back.
I heard it from a person I'd never spoken too.

They told that I should trust them and that I would be fine.
I listened the followed their words blind.
I trusted their words more than mine.

I listened and did everything they told me to do.
I was afraid that without them I would lose evething too.
I gave them my heart and leaned on them for support but it turns out, to them, that I was just a sport.

Just something new for them to try out.
Only to think that it wouldn't work out.
Tossed aside like yesterday's cold, old dinner, they lefted me in the dust to go and find someone shinier and prettier.

Pathetic I was, watching them from a far.
Wondering what I did to make them want to go so far.
I wanted to make them come back to me.
I was reliant on the lies they fed me.

I fell deep into a pit of dispair.
I wondered why no one would notice me even though I am there.
I wondered terrible things.
I wanted to be friends again.
I wanted nothing more than to be with that person again.

So one day, I mustered it up.
All the courage that I kept inside of me,
so I wouldn't mess it up.

I walked to the person right after class.
Hoping that they would see me and not just pass.
Fifteen feet away, I stood from them.
Watching intently as they spoke to someone that seemed very close to them.

Walking closer and closer till I was five feet away.
I heard one sentance and the remains for my already broken heart, flew away.

I ran away from them, farther and farther.
Wondering why I was so stupid and when would I get smarter.
I kept running away tell I fell to the ground.
Trying to get up without making a sound.

I felt something warm on my cheeks,
I look up hoping to see someone comforting me.
Instead of seeing someone there, I realized that they were just my tears of dispear.

Choking down sobs,
I held in my sniffles.
I thought about my problems and how I got myself in such a pickle.
Like in true anime style,
just to set the mood,
It started to rain on a patheic person called me.
Someone sad and a fool.
Someone who can't think clearly.

Slamming my fist to the ground, I let my sobs come freely.
I wondered why no one would love me dearly.
There was a loud clash of thunder,
I looked up fearfully.
I saw mother and father the only 2 people who had ever loved me I thought clearly.

I thought they'd smack me for being ***** and on the ground.
But my mother held out her hand to lift me from the ground.
Father handed me an umbrella and we all walked away.
Wanting to forget what had happened today.

Sitting in my room I thought to myself,
I need friends but I don't need to ones that will cause me to want to hurt myself.
I find it hard to draw myself away from them.
But it's fine, I have found people who are better than them.
These new people, they make me happy.
The share their stories and make all of us feel giggly and laughy.

In the end,
I guess you could say,
I finally found a group of people who would care about me and weren't fake.

~[•]~

"You don't care. You don't feel anything."

“Keep on lying,” your heart said.

There is no good in denying,
nor anything bad in it.

Will you choose to keep it to yourself?
Don't you want any help?

You make people believe everything is okay.
That you are okay.
Lie.
Keep on lying if that makes you feel better.

The pain slowly kills you.
And no one, not even you,
know how to stop it.

Now, you are not okay.
But it's okay.

Time heal wounds, not scars;
Deeply carved in the core of your heart.

You may break down it tears.
Cry, dear.
For it will save you from hurting.

One day, you'll say, 'I AM OKAY.'
And realize, This time you mean it.

HEAL.
Maybe not now, but someday.
You will understand.
You will be understood.

~[•]~