Hiding behind masks
Of make up and designer bags
Laughing on cue
Subtle touch of the arm
Roll of the eyes when you know their watching
Fitting into who you think you want to be
Hiding behind gossip and others troubles
And your shocked when they don't care
Your loud voice and soft hair
stealing  just a little form everyone
As you hide behind your little screen
Making faces
Hiding behind your virtual reality
100 likes doesn't make you more loved
I notice you
That depth you fill with evaporating sand
Consumed by your appearance
And here I sit
judging you
Part of my reflection

Day turns to night, crowds on the road,
Bonfires ignite, bangers explode.
Fireworks fly high, burst in the air
Dogs bark and cry, smoke everywhere.
Chinese lanterns float way on high
Flicker and burn, light up the sky.
Candle-lit pumpkins that terrorise
With wicked grins and evil eyes.
Cobwebs, spiders, vampires and bats
Ghosts and monsters, witches black cats,
Skeletons skulls, crosses, tomb stones
Look wonderful haunting most homes.

Children galore take to the street
Knock on each door, play trick or treat
Costumes vary, monsters and such
Some quite scary, some not so much
Bags big and small, buckets or tins,
Carried by all to keep treats in.
Getting goodies at every door,
Bars and lollies and so much more;
Monkey nuts, gum, fruit and sweets too  
Money from some, a coin or two.
Kids excited, loving it all,
Each delighted with their own haul.

Halloween treats like colcannon,
Barmbracks with a ring in each one,
Traditional games for everyone,
Snap apple great Halloween fun.
Scary stories of days gone by,
Horror movies to terrify,
Howls and screams, nervous laughter,
Many bad dreams for weeks after.
There is no other night like Halloween,
People more frightened than they've ever been.
A great occasion for young and old,
Cannot wait for the next one, truth be told.

I've hidden behind so many "I'm okay"s.
The decieving happiness has become second nature.
My fake smiles and pretend laughs have become easier than the **** down the street.

"How are you?"
Don't hesitate.
Smile.
Sound peppy.
Sound happy.
"Good!"
Was that too peppy?
Too forced?
No one cares enough to notice anyway.
"Are you okay?"
Look confused.
Look surprised they're even asking.
Smile.
Let it roll off your tongue like it has so many times before.
"Of course."
Don't cry.
Dont cry God ******.
"What have you eaten today?"
Think of foods.
Think of foods fast.
Blurt out the first words that come to mind like you're on a gameshow and you're about to win first prize if you can just tell them what you had for dinner.
It all becomes second nature;
After so long of wearing masks
You forget how to wear your real face.
You don't know what's under the mask
You don't remember.
"Don't let them in,
Don't let them see"
Good thing I don't remember how to.
I've painted this smile on my face day after day
I don't know if the paint will come off anymore.

Masks

they help us hide

from who we are

behind a curtain

dancing silhouettes

they’ll never know

puppets on strings

acting how we should

we spend so much time hiding

when the mask is removed

we  won’t recognize ourselves

we don’t even know who we’re hiding

scared to know what’s within

“Can you imagine the world if
We we only saw souls
Not bodies?”
          - Unknown

Can you imagine the world if
I removed every piece of skin -
          from my arms to my legs,
          to the very edges of my face -
Peel them off one by one, until
All you can see is my flesh -
          my very innards contracting,
          muscles and bones moving
                    together.
A mechanism that cages beneath
The fibers and strands -
          a shadow-beast,
          a swirling pool of darkness.
          a dark, unfathomable monster.

Can you imagine the world if
We only saw souls and not bodies -
          if we only saw souls without
          the masks we call “bodies?”

Can you imagine the world if
Shadows and monsters treaded the earth -
          if from the other side of the pavement
          a decaying carcass walks your way?

Run, don’t walk, my dear,
          *run, don’t walk.

The mirroring we do.
The projection we play.
Will all come back to haunt us.
Somewhere,
Somehow,
Someday.

I have been in search of the self of self’s
to end the war being waged inside,
for years now between the masks I hide
I’m a son to the trees and seas.
I’m a brother to those that bother, and
those who are blind to color
I’m a student to whomever wants to teach.
I’m a lover of words, and hope that bloom in a rose
I’m a believer in the shadows that move between spaces.
And the sweetness heard in the soul and seen in the sky.
I am a lover of who yells “keep the peace.”
I am he, who sometimes does not practice what he preach,
he who sometimes could not tame the devil at bay,
and so he comes out to play.
I am he who stalks life with blindfolded anger and say “why have you forsaken me?”
I am he, a true believer of God and the hereafter.
A sinner who can’t shake off the temptations of life,
he who knowingly dances at the edge of his knife, and
he who must answer for his crimes, his crimes, his crimes
for his waste of time,
The lies! The lies! The lies!
I am he, who sits alone in a dark room,
A dark house,
A dark world,
thinking about death,
being exhaustingly terrified of death,
sometimes wanting to die but knowing his hereafter isn’t as………
I am the student that sits on his hands,
who doesn’t do **** and probably won’t amount to ****.
I get scared not because it’s a scary world, which it is, but
because of the people in it.
Not people with big guns, sharp knives, hulkish anger issues, or
people in power doing bad things.
Because of my dad, my moms, my brothers, my sisters, my teachers, my lovers, my friends, tax payers,
I get scared because this tower of dreams
I’ve been put in
It will crumble,
these shoulders of mine will brake badly
I have been anticipating and fearing the pain.
While I was it came and came not with fear.
It came and all became clear
Simplicity is a hunger that cannot be satisfied.
No one knows my secrets except the shadows I lay with.

The moon wore Janus masks last night,
Winking and nudging at our daily shenanigans;
Our wrong turns, the vanity of our foibles,
The apprehension of non-events,
Poking at our comedy of errors.
Our youthful angst.

The other mask keeps an eye closed
To our secrets,
The thoughts we cannot share;
Our furcht of past to future
Since our first fires,
Since someone said, You've said too much,
Or, What business is that of yours?
I've buried my losses beneath that mask,
With all the irreplaceable loves and deaths
Of my real drama.

Why must the tortured
ice their darkened, bitter cakes
with pretty frosting?