Our arms lock and embrace
I stare at your lovely face
the reflection in your eye
shows another guy
that's standing behind
me.

Dagger stabbing, blade twisting
back bleeding, stomach turning
eyes blurry, ears ringing
mouth drying, brain denying.

Am I just your stability?

I believe
There is a difference between
Lying
And being afraid
To tell the
Truth

And that’s why
I cannot simply
Do one

if i can act like i'm okay, am i?
everything i say can turn into a lie
of course i'm good, it's all fine
where do i have to draw the line
well if i'm really being honest:
(after all i made that promise)
i really want to get better but i'm so tired
i don't want to be awake but my mind's on fire

A childish accusation, "You promised"
Before fear's taught kids are bolder
Denied the right, who can I trust
And I can't say, now that I'm older

Growing up we all learn how to lie
Despite all our parents' trying
It's become my second nature, why?
I've found it's easier than fighting

When the world demands a lot of you
You learn to adjust or fall apart
Rarely is the desired answer true
Tangled in lies, where do I start

I know I can do better and I should
A refrain throughout our heads
Binding words, be a kid that's "good"
Follow through all that's been said

My master is fear, I've learned my lesson
Lying seems to be an act that's kind
We tend to try to have good intentions
"How are you today?" "I'm doing fine."

where most people
lack kindness
and where kind people
lack friends.

- where lying is the new truth
and orange is the new black.

- where people are taught
that in order to be loved
by their knight in shining armour,
they need to hate themselves first.

- in which we exist,
not for ourselves,
but for the sake of our fellow inhabitants.

we live in an amazing world -
but perhaps you can't see that
because of the people who hold you
trapped behind the bars of society.

- v.m

The ocean's wave rolls
and beats repeatedly
carving a way into the soul
of this precipice
foaming at the mouth

no, wait....

that's just your tongue
coated in a miasma of
a siren song
you ******* liar  

sunbathing on my pyre
the whole town now congregates around
with devil-red
containers of gasoline
while your devil-red
lips act the fire

Only the clever witches
survived the trials

the whole town now dances around
feasting on the lotus petals
that root in the palm of your hand

look at them move
locked in each others hands
chanting
"This will bring peace"
while they nod and agree

"Pour more gasoline"
escapes between those sharp teeth

happiness is a moveable feast
at least your eating
like a queen

go ahead and **** the marrow
out of these innocent bones
tomorrow I will be gone

once I thought of you as Ithaca
now realize that these
are Troy's stones

it's time to sail back home.

I was mad.

I was mad about being second best.
I was mad about taking a second place in your heads.
I was mad about what you discussed behind my back.
I was mad about realising how mad it all made me become.

I was sad.

I was sad about how excluded you made me feel.
I was sad about how vulnerable I had let myself become.
I was sad about not feeling as important to you anymore.
I was sad because I felt so alone without you.
With you.

I was tired.

I was tired of seeing them push me aside.
I was tired of being interrupted for your gains.
I was tired of being used to broaden your shoulders
And widen your egos
I was tired of seeing her face and hearing you laugh at her words.

I was wounded.

Wounded because you left me all alone when I needed you.
Wounded because you chose them over me. And her.
Wounded because I had finally found my place and they took it from me.
Wounded because my mistakes were haunting me.
Wounded because you were hurting me, neglecting me, rejecting me.

Now you've come back to me.

Come back like I predicted.
Come back like none of this ever happened.
Come back like she was never here.
Like I never asked you that question.
Come back like we were never different.
Come back like my heart is still yours and yours is still mine.

And now you smile at me,
Talk to me,
Laugh at me like nothing ever happened, nothing ever changed.
Like we will still remain
The same
And I don't know what to think anymore
Other than what love is made of.

You were an illusion I was hanging on to.

I don’t know how, but you held me captivated.
Your eyes caught my attention and I was enchanted.
You seemed so certain, so at ease, so in place - it was a lie.

Every word out of your mouth became a lie.
I clung to them all, searching for
hoping to find a truth in what you said.
You had me fooled. It wasn’t real

Nothing with you ever was -
Not your words, you weren’t sincere.
Not your interest, it was deceit.
Not your charm, it was an act.
Not your actions, they were a play.

Yes - if nothing else, you know how to put on a play.

You made me feel sad - sad for myself for ever allowing you
Allowing you to touch upon the border of my heart
Allowing you to occupy places in my mind
To dominate too much time of my day
To make me care.

Now you make me feel sad - sad for you
Sad for you because you’ve wasted such good company
Because you’ve nothing to show for your behaviour but malcontent where you could have affection
Because what you portray yourself as makes you uncomfortable and it’s starting to show
Because what you’ve done has dampened your spirits
Because what you can’t have you now realize you want
But most of all

Because your facade is killing you, and it’s starting to seep through to you.
And it shows on your face.
And it takes root in your heart.
And you can’t change it anymore
This is something you can’t fix.

And the worst part for you is the best part for me:

I don’t care anymore.
The illusion broke and we both stepped on the shards
Irreparable, irreplaceable
Gone forever.
Like snow to water, we return to our root state
of indifference.