Why would you choose someone like me?

There are women much prettier than I,

With skin softer than mine,

Hair longer,

Bodies better,

Voices smoother,

Eyes deeper,

Personalities richer,

Hearts bigger.

Why would you choose someone like me?

You can have so much more than my low self-esteem.

Feeling...
Ceiling...
Crush another can,
Something wonderful!
Wasted now,
Broken house...

Yeah...

Defeat,
Concrete...
Take another hit,
And it's all complete,
Just **** me,
Oh,  **** me...

Yeah...

Can't you see?
It's my creed,
Blood red seas,
So permanently!
And this is me!
Oh, this is me...

Yeah...

Sunlight,
So bright,
I think about a day,
I've never had my rights!
I'm Equal,
And Unequal...

Yeah...

Shadow ball!
Oh,  shadow ball,
Tell me why I never
Had faith at all!
Just let me sleep,
Oh, let me sleep,

Yeah...

Oh, Hashish,
And *****,
I can't imagine when
I've ever felt so numb!
Just guide me,
And hide me...

Yeah...

It's something new,
And something *******,
A form of happiness
I never thought I'd brew,
But still, I knew,
Oh, I knew...

Yeah...

Shadow ball,
Oh, shadow ball,
Tell me why I never
Had faith at all!
Just let me feel,
And leave me be...

Yeah...

I used to love being alone
but now I'm starting to confuse it with loneliness.
I used to love having space
but now I'm lost in the atmosphere.
I keep eating cause I should,
but I still feel ******* empty.

I’ve often been told
By many different souls.
That I’m hard to read
It’s getting old
Enough for me to forget it
Until it comes up again
And again and again.
Is it my glares to the top corner or the room
Or the stale air
Was it because I already told you ?
Worried about my feelings,
But it’s Your actions .
Do you not have any compassion
Or respect for yourself
Sour.
Here’s  another number
Take a guess
How I feel
Use your head
Tell me what’s real.
Can’t be looking down
Face glowing Up
Because you can’t talk
Like a ******* grown up
This mind game is too lame
I can’t stand your sad face but
You need a kick into reality
I told one time
Don’t you ever lash out at me
I’m a ******* inside
But I never let it out
I don’t wanna give you
Something to talk about
Everyone’s cool
Until they don’t shout
This is how
The truth comes out

A soundtrack from behind the blinds,
fleeting and skittering steps into the rocking water,
crossing the ebbing tide's line in the sand.

I cross the barrier between,
I open my eyes and I see
the castle standing on an arching hill
over the snaking river.
The tower reaches high,
stretching to meet the clouds
and the bricks of the walls sit in piles
of rubble, left to the mosses
and vines that drape their faces.

My vision fades to black and it forms again,
the gray sea and shimmering light appear
as i wade deeper, now up to my knees
in the lifeless water.

Up the spiraling staircase,
a glance through the hole in the wall
as the valley shrinks below
and the hazy purple sky
envelopes the whole of my sight.

The water reaches my chest now,
my steps scraping the rocky bottom
and the white moon lighting the path
forward, reflecting in a white sparkle
on the top of the slow moving wake.

The crumbled roof at the top of the tower
gives way to the dark and starry night.
A hazy mist surrounds,
of a cloud slowly drifting through
like an ambling specter,
on the long march home.

I crouch at the edge,
at the edge of the hole at the bottom.
I fill my lungs with a last breath
and dive downwards,
the gray sea covering me
and pushing me into the lightless cavern.

The mist of the cloud passes
and the view of the valley
is cleared.
I sit at the edge of the tower,
with my feet dangling over the side.

Lost in the stars,
once again my vision fades
But the gray waves do not return,
the white moonlight dimmed and extinguished
as I sigh and sit at the top of my conquest
and remember the days i've lost
in the traceless place,
with its tranquil waves.