remember:
there is so much more to come.

there are so many people
sitting
waiting
hoping to find you

you have not yet reached that place
that place in your life you've been looking for
but someday you will

that person you are waiting for is coming
no, not the one from your past,
who haunts you and wishes they could hear you laugh again,
or who tore you from inside-out,
or the one who you wish would just say hello,

but someone else
that person you are waiting and wishing for is on their way
for now
it is okay to be lonely.

you always have
yourself

I've grown so accustomed to this numbness.
It spreads through my body
like wildfire
consuming dry skin and chapped lips.
It overtakes all of me, fills my being
from stomach to heart and
eventually my mind.
It begins to feel like brush on the forest floor,
stale and easy to catch
but quick to burn up.

------------------------------------------------------------­---------

Our ship is sinking
so quickly.
Blink and you miss
all the little moments we could have had
that you failed to see.
Your blindness and My complacency
like cannonballs
punching holes in our vessel
and me in the stomach.
You don't even seem to care Captain.
We're patching up a sinking ship with bandages
but it won't stay afloat.

Make me sad again
So I won't have an appetite
So I don't eat anymore
So I lose weight
And I become happy with myself.

I wish I could turn back time
Where I had my happiness
My happy place
My peace

Now that it's taken away from me
I am lost
Stranded
And depressed

I don't know if there's hope for me
I can't even think straight
I've lost what I found
And I can't find my true source

I am in pain
My heart beats slowly
It's ailing with sadness
And I'm dying

I need help
I'm sinking in darkness
I can't do it alone
Help me

Daniel.
Daniel was a boy of talent and charm
He smiled when the world didn’t
And he cried when no one would see
He made sure no one ever felt like they were alone
And no matter the severity of a lie or action
He always had room in his heart to forgive.
Daniel left behind a daughter
Not even 1 year old
But
When you had a life like his
Its not easy to get around the mental scars
People had once cut deep into his skin
And the hatred injected in his veins
Daniel was one of the nicest people
And he’ll forever be in our hearts

Oh loneliness
You come and go
You never forget me
Your presence weakens me
But the time has come to leave me
They never let me down
They always lift me up
They know who i am
And
They never let me stay
Alone in a room with you

Can you feel it? He says.
Can you feel the mountains crumbling,
Falling apart on a grand scale?

Well I can feel them dissolving around me,
Failing everything and burning the forests down.
Ruining my chances with a girl just for being me,
Coz the rivers run dry with a sludgy mess of ash and liquid confidence.

Running higher and standing tall, but the more I climb the steeper it gets.
The winds whip my face and slash my wrists,
And the one person who can help, is falling down too.
If only I could have helped you sooner.

Up here the butterflies are dragons,
And the clouds are choking me out.
Perhaps I'm not as far up as I thought,
But the pressure here is too much for me, and theres no rescue team in sight.

It has been said to me, "An act must thus ensue,
So that no one can ever see it's the world against you.
Yet that battle can only be fought behind the stage,
While everyone else sees you smile into your old age."

But they only love the mask, they only know the act,
They couldn't care any less for simple truth or facts.
By the end, perhaps, I'll finally believe,
And truly, completely, the world deceive.

I don't know where I'm going,
I scarce remember where I've been.
Still, blindly I am rowing until I reach that bitter end.

I'll be on that river by myself, all alone,
The truth is still unknown, the act all that remains,
For by now I am the mask of a man without a name.

1/1/15
(Revised 4/18/15)