I can't keep doing this stupid ****
Letting myself go
Telling my open heart
Yes and then no
And the decisions I make
Never seem to be right
Give away my body
And keep my heart locked tight

God knows I want it
I want to do it so badly,
I'm not entirely sure I can stop myself.
Imagine if every feeling you had was pain.
Happiness was like knives in your stomach,
Sadness equaled blades to your heart
Anger left you staggering and blind
and fear left you bleeding from your wrists.
For so long I thought I could bleed away that pain.
Now,
I know I can **** it away.
Step 1: Find a guy,
Then you're happy
Step 2: Convince that guy to like you
It doesn't matter if he has feelings for you,
as long as he'll *****
Step 3: **** him
Then you stop hurting
Step 4: Break his heart.
Then, you stop feeling.
Lying, cheating, stealing time,
just to get my drug.
If I can't find you,
I take a long steamy shower,
ignoring the banging on the bathroom door,
my family telling me I'm taking too long.
I don't know if I want to stop.
I hate this pain.
I hate this.
Pain,
brings me down,
I want to stay in my room all day.
I want to stay inside with the doors locked,
I want to stop feeling.
I want to die.
No, I want to stop hurting.
I want to live,
and stop hurting.

There are things that are forbidden
The small black box in the darkest corner of my mind is forbidden
Things, bad things are in that box
It's locked
And it must be for good reason
There could be a thousand lifetimes my soul has lived in that box
Or it could be old memories best forgotten
I don't know, and I may never know
All I know it that that box is forbidden
And I don't have the key
I don't know where it is or where to begin to look for it
*And my feelings tell me that the key is just as forbidden too

I am in a deep dark hole--
An asylum of my mind.
It's better to be locked in a room
Where no damage can be done,
Where everyone treats me as who they perceive me to be--
A ****** lunatic.
I know this isn't my rightful place,
I know I sound so childish and
Narcissistic
To say these things,
But if there is no escape from your pain,
What a better place to reside?

I scream and scream for hours
In this nightmarish dream,
Without the knowledge of the darkest secrets
Hiding in the mist of all this black.

All the while the prince tries to rescue me.

I guess it's unclear if I
Let myself be trapped or if
You have trapped me in my own
Sick state of existence.

I long for the prince's arms to be around me.

He has a heart of gold
Kept locked away in an iron box,

Curious, I picked at the lock
He lift the lid and showed me,

He showed me what was inside
And my heart beat for his.