If I had a pen,

On a thin sheet of paper, I would write how the way
Your collarbone curvatures.
I will write about you endlessly.

Until the palms of my hands begin to bleed,
And my entire skeleton will start to ache.
It’ll be a reminder to me that I should have
        tried harder to make you stay.

I should have known, that you preferred bitter black coffee
Rather than tea.

What else do you want from me?
I can give you the sun, the moon,
and the stars.

But to you, that is not enough.

Please, don't go and boast
that you have stolen my heart.
That is the last thing that I want
on my mind.

I can no longer go on,
with this unsettling feeling.
It freezes over my skin,
like winter coating the earth with snow.

I have nothing more to give
from what life took from me.

I have nothing more to give.
I have nothing left anymore.

She's me
chat that
back her
stack as
eyes gleam
and conglomerate
of ceramic
taste that
steal the
heart away
for cause
of now
that mayn't
bring her
down to
this gloomy
bile of
pancakes grief

Every poem of love that I write angers me because I don't have this incredible person that's in my writing. Yet from somewhere deep inside me these words escape, and all I want to do is bottle them up, store them away. But what am I supposed to say, "Stay away"?

I just hope you're happy, wherever you are. Not knowing that I am in such inner turmoil because of you. Not knowing this perfect storm I have been brewing for you. Not knowing that I lie awake thinking of you. Thinking of what I would say, of what I would do for you. What I would give up for you.

You don't even know how much you mean to me while you are probably somewhere out there in this world doing who knows what and thinking about who knows who. How am I supposed to tell you how much you bring to my life, if you haven't even entered it yet?

When will you listen to my heart's lament as it tells of the pain that searching brings? The lament a heart releases when its searched so long for its counterpart, it's soulmate, only to come up empty handed in the end?

Do you have any idea what you do to me?

Don’t touch me.
I’m quiet, and tall
And out of reach.

I am weak, and worried
And out of sound.

I am nothing,
But the fear in falling;

Wondering why I’m not touched

Why did I get to know about the myriad faces of the game before I even got in the field?  Players have told me a lot about the game called love .  I never asked them.  Some simply did while some needed to talk out to move on.  I just happened to be the person they could trust with their darkest secrets.  With the tales, my dream of an almost utopian world has receded into the past.  Sometimes I just have a minuscule wish to be able to dream of paradise like everyone else.

“Divide it among nobody!”
they say,
“Share it with the numbers!
Feed it to the armies that await!
Don’t let the dead starve in their graves-
For they hunger and thirst most of all.
Let the water grace their lips!
Let the it splash upon the despised desert
that once was a field full of flowers.
Let food fill the stomach with a stormful sea!
Let their harbor rest in peace!
For they hunger like a haggard man holding on for hope.
Let them take a breathe and exhale it.
Let their lungs fill with life so they can shout and sing!
Let their brains buzz and be, so ours no longer must!
-For only they have the notes and the lyrics to sing what once was dear!
For they only can sing the long forgotten years!
Let us not forget their voices in vain!”
they shout,
“why should we let their bare bones be satisfied in their somber slumber?
For they only are in alive in a memory,
Only awake in one’s sleep-
And even those shall cease to be!”
They say,
“Please listen to our candid pleas.
We speak for those who do not speak.
Their whispers only leave a faint trace of beguile on a painted cheek
that grow quieter and quieter still.
For they wish to be more than teachers
whose mistakes and triumphs are showcased for all to see.
They wish to be more than di’en.
They wish to be alive like you and me.”

They were wrong.

I'm going to meet with the yesteryear woman,
to give her a sweet, scented lily kind of smile.
I'm going to give her a hug and tell her it'll be okay,
in the yesterday's threshold, in her merciless exile.

There have been many tears and sighs in vain,
in the deserted wilderness, no one to comfort her.
With a ruthless heart, now full of bitterness,
the mistrust in love made her see everything in blur.

She always questioned her own beauty and worth,
but she does not bend in front of the kicks of the fate.
She keeps silence thinking that it does not hurt anymore,
her cheeks swallowed the tears running in torrents of hate.

Her gentle heart was pounding from fear in her chest,
the burden was too hard to bear, so she's leaving.
She braids now enigmas with determined words,
but the river fountains were lamenting and grieving.

I will tell her that tomorrow will be a brand new day,
the stars and the moon will always be there to guide her.
That in this life nothing is what it seems to be,
the sun one day will rise in her way. Yes, my dear Mother!

I am content
with thy firmament
In silence I hold my lament
My fear is my strength
it unfolds to earths length
Beyond what my eyes may see
I lay my trusty words upon thee
Home is far from blinded sight
A life hidden in a darkened night
There we fell into closeness
An abundance of things to confess
In simple wholesomeness we linger
Til I can reach thy lips with my finger

I am content
with thy firmament
the same one it will be
when we look up we'll see

Lost souls in the desert
In parched lands so dry
Raise hands in delight
As heavens open wide
Rain comes crashing down
Pouring from a heavy sky
Drenching the world
In echoing mournful cries
Of ocean's lament:

You pollute me

But why?

Do I not
Please your eyes?
Do I not also
Nurture
Provide?

I teem with life
Of infinite worth
I team with the wind
Sustain the earth

Yet you trash me
Without second thought
With countless byproducts
Of industrial rot
You don't relish my beauty
You don't savor my taste
You don't bask in my fragrance
No, you send me your waste

And still I give

As long as you live
I'll love you the same
I'll carry your boats
I'll feed you my fish
I'll send you the rain

So when the skies darken
Precipitation pours forth
Let it remind
Of how much you use me
Oh, please don't abuse me
No, please be kind
And treasure my worth