People look at me and call me all these names
Boys ******* use me and play all these games

I feel so alone, I can't take it anymore
I can't stand being called an ugly ******* *****

I go home and cry my eyes out
I don't know what to say, so I scream and shout

Walk into my room and open up a box
In there, are some treasures, and a few couple rocks

I dig a little deeper till I find what I'm looking for
It's the blade that wounds the thing deep inside my core

I take it out and stare at it for a while
I have so many reasons, they stretch out for a couple miles

I take my blade, walk to the bathroom, and lock the door
I look at myself in the mirror, and I am sure

What I am doing is of my own hand
These marks will leave their very own special brand

I hold the blade over my wrist
And when I bring it down, I feel pain and then bliss

The warm blood starts to trickle down
If anyone found out, they would do more than frown

I attack my wrist so vigorously
Scarring myself to **** the thing inside of me

Each and every time,  the feeling becomes addictive
For each cut becomes distinctive

This one is for the girl who told me I was full of crap
And this one is for the boy who called me fat

They didn't think I would take it to the heart
But actually, I am tearing myself apart

I do it once, twice, three dozen more times
I throw my ****** blade down and begin to cry

Why did I do this?
Even though I felt pain, I felt so much bliss

My troubles went away with each slice
The blood ran thicker down my arm, Jesus Christ

I start to sob and bury my head in my arms
When I look up, I feel the blood on my face, so warm

I get up and start to clean myself
I grab the towels that are on the shelf

After I see that there is no more blood
I go to my room and my emotions begin to flood

I lay in bed, hiding the scars buried deep in my wrist
I think about the hate, and my eyes begin to mist

The front door opens, and my mother come inside
She comes in my room, noticing that I have recently cried

She asks me what is wrong
I tell her in this world I don't belong

She sees my wrist and puts her hand up to her face
Oh, Allison, you belong here in this place

Please promise me you won't cut yourself ever again
One day you will hit a major vein

No one wants to lose you, your precious smile
The question is, do you want to stay with us for a little while?

Looking deep into your eyes

Makes me feel something inside

Showed you feelings

I meant to hide

My heart thumps deep

Into overdrive

Talk it out

And let me in

This is a war

I know we’ll win

And though our skin

Is oh so thin

We’ll work things out

And we’ll begin

The exorcism

Of your soul

I’ll **** the demons

I’ll pay the toll

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I let you down

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I never came around

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I pushed you away

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I wish you would stay

But it can’t be that way

I’ll **** you

You’re my prey

I miss you

I need you

But you have to stay away

I’ll hurt you

Like I do

Every single day

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

It has to be this way.

cold metal to the temple
the cradle bled red
wine stained carpet
the fingers tremble

bang

helpless gasps
a flower struggling
darkness consumes
it kills

bang

quivering lips
a tear drops
knees collapse
fighting sunlight

bang.

Blood on my hands
A knife in your back
I hope you understand
My reason for attack

But you never looked away
You never made a sound
The words you would've said
Now they spill to the ground

Breath hanging in the air
Like cigarette smoke
I said, "those will be your death."
Now I see the irony of that joke.

So the deed was done
No returning to the past
Name etched in my chest
With a shard of glass

December's waxing strong
I remember why I'm cold
Make a fire from my flesh
To try and warm my soul

I realise that your gone
The knife still in your spine
I lay my self down
Maybe I'll sleep just fine

I'll see you in my dreams
Another life to start again
I'll ask you for a chance
For forgiveness for this sin

Funny when you tell me
The thing you need is an anchor.
Because the last few days
Have taught me so much.
All I wanted when we first met
was to know that we would leave together.
But from the start I could feel it,
I felt like I was going to be suffocated.
The last several weeks,
I have laughed more, I have done more…
And I finally feel free.
And by being free I can see now:
Constantly trying to fix us
Is the thing that has been killing me slowly.
And I don’t want to do it anymore,
I don’t want to fix it or fix us anymore.
Maybe instead of loving you so hard
I should be myself for a while.
I should love me.
And you should love you.
I want so much for you.
For both of us.
So much more than this.
More than being stuck
With someone who feels stuck.
I want you to feel free too.
But no matter how hard we try,
We have to realize some things
Just can’t be fixed.