She was an angel too beautiful for this earth.
When she was alive she didn’t even know her worth.
She was my superhero, that’s for sure.
She was more beautiful than all the other angels were.
I had seen her two days before the end…
Losing her was a wound I’ll never mend.

Beautiful, beautiful angel, i hope you’re dancing up there..
I hope you’re running through fields of gold without a care.
Watching down on me from up above..
No one can replace the loss of a mother’s love.
Only 18 when she passed away…
I wasn’t even there, so goodbye I couldn’t say.

It was a cold day in April, when i got the call.
I held onto the back of my couch so I wouldn’t fall.
Tears came pouring down my cheeks and out of my eyes.
I know you’re up there; smiling when I look to the skies.
I drove as fast as I could to see you one last time..
I never thought I would be able to live without you; your life ended at its prime.

Beautiful, beautiful angel I hope you feel pain no more.
Though my heart is broken and sore.
They say only the good die young, so you must have been one of the best.
This pain is my life's ultimate test.
I know you’re home with your love.
I hope you’re smiling up there with the angels above.

I am slowly learning how to live without you.
I knew if I lost you, exactly what I would do.
Two years later and I am still here.
I am living the life you never got to, with less fear.
Beautiful, beautiful angel are you proud of me?
Because thanks to you, I am becoming all i can be.

Dear little brown boy, don’t be afraid.
Do you know how many times momma has prayed?
Surrounded by love and light in a world filled with hate.
Hands up, don’t speak, otherwise you’re guaranteed one fate.
Momma has to teach you things other boys your age don’t need to know…
It’s to make sure you’re safe when you go.

Dear little brown girl, don’t let them judge your dark skin.
God worked really hard, and gave momma a perfect girl free of sin.
You’re beautifully sculpted despite what they say.
You are deserving of love and respect, EVERY DAY!
There are things momma has to teach you, other girls don’t need to know..
So love your brown skin, because baby you glow.

Dear little brown boy, you’re growing up way too fast.
Momma wishes there was a spell she could cast…
One to let the world see your beautiful soul, and not the “weapon” they call skin..
Sadly, little brown boy, this is a war we won’t win.
Don’t let them change or break your spirit…
Because there are many in this world who will fear it…

Dear little brown girl, you’re getting so big and have plans for your life..
You talk of children, and being a wife..
Momma watches, knowing what the world will try to take…
Just don’t let them see how much you have to fake.
They will fear you babygirl when you walk by…
Don’t let them change you into the bad guy!

Dear brown babies, mommas got your back.
That perfect melanin skin, well momma won’t let it crack.
Dear little brown boy, you can be anything in this world you wanna be.
Football or basketball, aren’t the only things for you, don’t you see?
Dear little brown girl, let your soul shine through…
Because momma is here to support whatever you do..

I don’t wanna **** myself to die, i don’t think i could anyway..pride.
There is just..something inside me…
Sometimes all i can do is sit and cry, it hurts so much to just be..
There is a monster, and he lives inside my brain.
He whispers in my ear, and drives me insane.
I don’t wanna **** myself to die, i want to **** myself to **** the thing inside.

I don’t wanna **** myself, but if something were to happen I wouldn’t stop it.
If a man with a gun shoots me, thank him for me.
He did the one thing I was too scared to do, he set me free.
If a man with a car were to hit me while I am walking down the street..
Thank him for me, because finally life will have me beat.
I don’t wanna **** myself, but in this world i just don’t fit.

I don’t wanna **** myself, but I welcome death with a smile.
There are days when things go so well and I forget about the monster in my head.
There are days when all I can do is try to sleep through it in my bed.
I have tried so hard to save myself, but I don’t know how much more i can take.
There is a smile on my face and it’s so beyond fake..
I don’t wanna **** myself, but I won’t avoid it by going the extra mile.

I didn’t wanna **** myself, but he just got so loud and I couldn’t keep him hushed.
I climbed into a warm bath, needing the comfort as i made my choice.
I had screamed so loud on the inside, begging for help, I had lost my voice.
I rolled up my sleeves and looked at the scars from before…
I would never do this again, I swore!
I look down at my wrists and to the water, it was red as the blood rushed.

Now here I am looking down at a lifeless me, and I know I am finally free.
The monster, he is gone..but only to go onto the next innocent life he will claim.
I will have just 15 short minutes of fame..
They will say kind words about the girl i used to be, tell stories of my life.
They will say how loved I was, and how it all washed away with the swipe of a knife.
I didn’t wanna **** myself, but now he finally can’t keep his hold of me.

I just need one, because you were it.
So what am i supposed to do now, sit?
I Just need one, because I have so much to say and no one to tell.
Tape and glue can only hold me together so well.
I just needed one, and as I lie in the grave...  
Now they all stand around, tear stained cheeks looking for someone to save.