As if I'm on a seashore of an island where no race of mine belongs,
away from farms of wilting tulips and prosaic's home.
Only elixir here beholds is solitude who bestow some care and let me bloom.

When on alien land I stumbled, drowned in seas of low self esteems,
It sailed my ship to epiphany ,
as if seeing reflection of phoenix inside of me.

This solitude is shells of untended breeze,
voyage of heart beyond its bleeds,
away from scars, safe at least,
building visage of brand new ship!!

who would've thought that I'd make it to 22
that my fire never extinguished after all those years of rain
my seven-year-old self would be glad to see she was preserved

who would've thought that the one I dreamed about for six years
now sleeps in my bed at night, and calls me his wife
my 11-year-old-self would never believe it

who would've thought that, somewhere along the line,
I made friends who care for me and I them
my 13-year-old self would be relieved

who would've thought that my heart became soft again
and I learned to let myself cry, and feel
my 15-year-old self might just smile

who would've thought that I made it out of my hometown,
traveled the world on my own, and decided to come back
my 18-year-old self would be astounded

who would've thought that I became a teacher
and I don't fear my calling anymore
my 19-year-old self would laugh in disbelief

who would've thought that, despite all the years of isolation,
dissociation, fear, and heartache, I emerged still me

who would've thought?

not me

Robot shipping arms:

They’ve been reprogrammed for hugs.

For sale. Never used.

Lysol the package

Packed and shipped by robot arms

Now close the front door

I felt so alone.
every place I went. every place I stopped to visit.
Seemed off.
I followed the noise of everything around me
in the hope of finding something familiar.
I rounded corners, crossed mazes of streets.
I didn't feel like I belonged to any of these places.
mostly filled with strange looks. anxious behavior.
still, I walked.
big city life is too busy.
always somewhere to be. always something to do.
it's easy to lose track of time.
keeping up with the next thing to do, the next place to be.
I felt so alone.
my walk becoming more unease. my shoulders more tense.
nothing really felt warm.
everyone felt cold, lost in the hustle of busy feet.
Shoulders almost bumping into each other,
Cars screeching their horn almost running into the other.
the sanctuary of what I really needed seemed far away.
still, I walked.
meeting the avenue of your eyes. you.
you seemed different.
far different than any place I’ve been.
I felt like I’ve been here before, or at least
Would remember if I’ve dreamed about it.
I didn't need to look at a menu to know what I wanted.
there wasn't a question of where I’d sit, or if there'd be
a seat by the window.
No remembering if I needed to stop at an ATM or if I had the right
Amount of money. I felt at ease.
I immediately knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be.
if I did continue to walk, it would be into tomorrow.
so that I could come back here.
a patron whose face would take no time to remember.
when the weeks turn into years.
I’ll remember to tell you; this is how I got home

Channel 2

Nightly News

Who even knows anymore?


The clink of dishes


Disarray


Discussions a-bout dynamite


Likely to tear my hair out


It's fair to say I'd scare


my younger self


Wouldn't recognize,


or even know how to reply


to the sight of things


Paranoia creepin' in


Might have to do with,


all that research I been readin'


Either tricks are being played


Or something is amiss
in the way you treat me...

Ever sit for hours, staring at the waves?
Until the sun sets, and the moon shines on the water.
But the moon doesn't shine. It just blocks out the sun.
No phone vibrations, no messages,
And you're too tired to reach out.
Realization hits like a wall of water,
Tumbling in a powerful grip
A cold shock seizes your muscles.
No one notices a ghost on the docks,
a problem that's drifted beyond the horizon
Maybe one day, the waves will calm,
But for now, you're pulled under,
Disoriented,
With saltwater stinging your eyes.
Fillings your lungs.
Into the depths of solitude.
I don't know if you'll survive,
But the waves are so beautiful.