I washed up on unfamiliar land,
after surviving in the ocean
its exotic nature and empty sand
waiting to capture my footprints

possibilities drafted insecurity
is it so wrong to be afraid?
to miss that familiarity
I exchanged for the choices I made

understanding time
I know it'll be a while
but with one foot in front of the other
that familiarity will be found in my smile

with his heart broken
the artist sank inside himself
drowning in fear and self-doubt
once hopeful now defeated
inspiration abandoned him
unable to paint masterpieces
with the poisoned blood
gushing from his fragile heart
that now runs dry

it is always the lovers
the mothers and fathers
the friends and teachers
those closest to you
who plant seeds of doubt
in your mind
who push you away
from your dreams
only the strong (and stubborn)
may follow their heart
while those dearest to them
cast stones at their passion

I remember the moment
I knew they were watching—
the moment they became of thin air.

but who were they?
our mothers?
our sisters?
our friends?
could they be everything
wrapped up in one?

so from that moment forward
I lived in a fear
of them staring & spying—
judging every last move.

will they always be watching?
god, please say they won’t.

sometimes I wish I could wipe the identity off of my face
throw away the picture and buy a new frame
but instead I wash my face only to reveal a more concentrated version of me
I used to know who I was

Attempting to breathe in
-drowning in insecurity.
I see your flaws.

Dead in water
I’ve swam for days in;
you’ve dwindled down,
but take my hand.

I’ll help you up.

Love..

he called her fat
coz he was thin

he called her pale
coz he was dark

he called her emotional
coz he was heartless

he called her nagging
coz he was secretive

yet she loved
and he cheated

his insecurities
killed the love
killed the girl
killed her entity

she hanged
and he died