I don’t think of you every day,
Only when the moon is blue,
As it was the other night.
You arrived bathed in its hue.
I filled with want,
Wanting you, to fill the same.
Which you were – at least in this telling.

For the space between us crackled,
As it often seemed to do,
Fertile ground for lightning,
Begging for a strike.
I reached for your cheek,
My hand a shy bolt,
But never arrived.

Instead I woke
Wet and warm, breathing heavy.
I turned to the pillow beside me,
My heart echoing in the space
Above it.

Is it love if I don’t think of you daily?
Are you simply a crush that I cannot shake?
One that’ll rust and crumble,
As soon as I take a bite?
Or would we burn brightly,
Or burn eachother,
Or burn out?
Maybe some romances,
Are better unlived,
Save for in dream and dalliance.

I reached for you once,
On a cliff
Overlooking a midnight sea.
Both of us wide awake,
Although a little drunk.
You leaned,
But not in the direction I’d hoped.
“I don’t want to lose you,
As a friend”
You’d said.

Well, I don’t know,
If I can have you,
As a friend.

Do friends visit each other,
Wrapped in blue,
Leaving the other,
Wet and warm,
Alone and breathing heavy?

Sounds more like,
A lover’s trespass,
To me.

In the movies they always look back
Instead you kept on driving.
Put all my chips on la vie on rose,
Romantics, just don’t fold.

What happened to summer,
Did we forget to take stock?
Kissing through tipsy laughter -
A soundtrack, but no ever after.

This map is broken,
Forgot to mark the way we came.
Still walking, but staying lost, lost, lost;
Stargazing, but staying lost, lost, lost.

I went back to the beginning,
To the beach, at the end with the boats.
Shed some tears, where we spilled Stella -
For the promise, the breaking, the full stop.
No sign of oasis,
Just sandpaper for a heart.        

Clock’s taking its time,
Where is my scar?
My memories are raw,
What happened to “we’ll be fine”?

This map is broken,
Forgot to mark the way we came.
Still walking, but staying lost, lost, lost;
Stargazing, but staying lost, lost, lost.

The sky a low ceiling.
Below a tapestry of blues, greens and greys –
Woven in shrub, stream, stone and lichen.
Mount Brandon.

Mountain spirits, dressed in wool.
Suspicious beady eyes.
Hoven feet that read silently the land.
Mount Brandon.

Fog boils over the mountain –
A breath that makes night of day
And ghosts and spectres of those who dare.
Mount Brandon.

That first Spring promise,
A blossom so vibrant,
Its ****** hues,
Shocking and gorgeous.

Then came Summer,
As love’s leaves matured,
The very air a caress,
Sunlight for nourishment.

Autumn arrived unbidden,
The cold nights unwelcome.
So I turned my back
On the shortening of days,
Looking instead, to far away hills,
Where the sun still kissed
Hay bales.

And then Winter,
Its sudden snap –
Whiplashed me to the present.
Loneliness made colder,
By memories of warmth.
An unabating frost,
That rid the world of taste,
Turning all existence,
To a single sheet –
And then it cracked.

I wandered the Tundra,
Starving beneath white fur,
Moaning to the memory,
Of seal and salmon fat –
The taste of life itself.
Hunger made deeper,
By the recollection of
Full stomachs.

And then, when it all seemed impossible,
Winter broke
And a thaw set in –
Petal once more
Defeating ice.

Many miles to walk,
In some shoes that just
Don’t fit.
Clouds above and in head,
Blind for all the doubt.

Escaping the pursing shadow,
The darkness we fear
That lives within.
Do I enjoy the flagellation,
Is that why I keep this whip wet?

I've grown addicted to the nightmare,
At home in the din.
The dream dies, in those desperate eyes,
Poured from the lies within.

When the ice berg hit,
I felt relief,
For this titanic,
That you all saw,
Has been shown to be
Just a piece of tin.

As I rust in the depths,
Nurturing my pain,
A diligent nurse,
I take comfort in this urchin bed Iv made.
Now, I know true darkness.

Lies swim in those eyes,
Silver flecks in a rolling ocean.

I got depths,
And there are sharks within.
You see the sun rays reflection,
But forget this mirror is just the knife's tip.
This oceans got more yin than yang.

Theres a certain satisfaction in self loathing,
See I have always wanted to be the best,
But too afraid to take the plunge,
I’ll settle for the worst.

At least when this wildfires burnt out,
There will be certainty at last.
All the bad and wrongs wrung out,
You don’t get no phoenix,
Without the price of destruction and ash.

The thing about rock bottom,
Is that it gives you something to push,
A solid base from which to build,
Now that I know the ends of my worth.

The jokes on you though,
He who types,
See perfection exists only in its totality.
A tree may glow, but its got knobs and gnarls.
The sun may shine, but it also burns.
We forget that sun kiss can ****.

So strive not to be the most good,
Or perfect, or unblemished.
For the destination doesn’t exist,
And the route, rough and wrought with misery,
Loops round and around yourself.

To avoid strangulation,
Let go.
Fall into uncertainty gladly,
And you will find wings that you didn't know.
And thats more than enough,
You don’t need no halo.

I fell for you like a waterfall,
Like the one we kissed under,
In a forest that smelled of earth,
And glistened as if by the tears,
Of loves lived and lost.

Said we wouldnt make the same mistakes,
Said we wouldnt jump,
Said we would take it slow,
Was it lying if we believed it was truth?

Overlooking water and underlooking stars,
You wrote yourself onto my heart.
And there with you on my chest,
Your head rising and falling to the tide of my breath,
I wondered to the dark,
Will this script become scar?

I’ve barely said hello,
But Im already afraid of goodbye.
Because I’m falling, jumping, racing.
Im mistaking.

I want to laugh at the night with you,
Chase away the day,
Roll in dewy grass,
Blanketed by the stars,
Dizzy but unafraid.

Hell would be worth it
If the devil had your smile,
No point in waiting for heaven
When Im already at your side.

Lets create memories
Fit for the Immortalists,
Lets do life things,
You and I,
Lets create
Us.

The wind slaps,
The sea frays,
Yet through it all,
Caw, caw, caw.

That incessant bird,
As much sea as air.
Its offensive call,
An insult to the wind.

He squabbles over the green,
Slimy river carpet.
Another affront,
An almost violent hue.

**** them both,
How dare they be,
As they are, so
Annoyingly free.

And I on the bank,
A bottled storm.
Unaware that their freedom,
Is an invitation.

Instead I keep the stopper
Held fast, silently rage.
A lonely begrudger,
Angry and afraid.