APEIROPHOBIA: [n.] the fear of infinity or infinite things.

—

you are love at the end of the world, something spelled without a glottal plea

the stars on my crown hang heavy tonight and i’ve barely slept for an hour but my mind drifts off to weary constellations and i sometimes wonder if we were aligned at all

you, vague hurt, you, toothache in the middle of a birthday party

you, a love like no other

and running without wolves to guide our journey, the forest scratches every inch of bare skin and i would cry out if you hadn’t done the same to me in your restless tossing and turning, there is love in your eyes but no love in the blood you make me bleed

there is still something left to be said. but my mouth is dry and full of sand, kiss it and catch a fly on the wall, smear ointment on its wings and maybe i’ll tell you about how i feel

and it isn’t a good one, it isn’t a love i towed beyond fathoms of seawater and across miles of irradiated coastlines, it isn’t me, count the distance and end up with infinity in one sitting, infinity with end, infinity to beg you of love

beg me of a message unclear, home sweet home

it’s better than nothing. the woozy way i walk into the ocean with a pocket full of rocks and a mind full of bitter sloshing around, is better than nothing, love

it’s better than everything love

because it’s something i still wish to keep, wish on a nebulae cluster that doesn’t exist the second you force yourself to breathe out, screams

no comforting the choir, i’ll drape mine around your bruised shoulders and shake both of them softly until i’ve killed half the universe with my hubris, until we’ve killed off every erstwhile incandescence just to look a little off-kilter, early morning, i’ve never felt better despite never finding out what repose meant

the sky is red at sunrise and then what

and then we, and then we

feel fine

you are love at the end of the world, and i am ready to struggle for survival. invite me into your rose-tinted apocalypse and allow me to decide a fate which was never mine to rewrite

it’s nothing

it’s better than nothing love

my love for you will age
like your mother's finest wine
growing only richer with the passing of time

I am the sky
You thought of only
As the color blue
Until you pushed
Past the atmosphere
And discovered infinity

At times, I find myself yearning for you.
A craving becomes a hunger,
And a hunger,
a starvation.

Shall I pray for a cure to this sin?
The way my collar aches for your kisses-
Your breath,
Hot against my throat

The way my mind wanders to where your hands could trail-
trickling down my skin like the heaven's rain

Am I evil to believe your touch is god?

Love, If I shall pray, I pray to you.
For your hands heal my lonely flesh

And, Lord,
if this is a sin,
make me burn.

Take me to hell and back-
Set me on fire and bless me a godly insanity

For you I'll burn again and again-
hotter than the sun,
Longer than infinity

There is a place for us
Where the grass is always green
I chose to take your hand and walk with you
inside this dream

Oh, how the calamity of our ending
Caressed my frozen cheek
As we tried to deny the truths
inside the depths of our beliefs

Heal the wounds torn from the wreckage
Upon this calloused stone
Card through the callings of an animal
That pulls the skin from bone

Show me the truth, that I do love you
But sometimes love is not enough
And for everything I want for you
It may not even be so much

So if we were never meant to be
It's fine, if I must set you free,
If the cold is setting in,
Then wait a moment here with me

There is a place for us
Where the grass is always green
And my love stays here, eternal,
Inside a moment's infinity