You can't always speak.

It's tiring,
to say the same spiel all the time,
lying isn't much better,
but the truth isn't an option.

It would hurt,
and we're already miles apart from where we began,
and I don't want to live without you in my life.

So sometimes I can't.

Please,
let's just sit here in silence a little longer.

So I can choke down the misery,
and smile for you.

Like a friend,
instead of someone who so hopelessly adores you.

Your mother spoon-feeds you happiness.
But at some point
the happiness becomes rotten.

So she cuts your meat in pieces
and feeds it to the therapist.
In hope of answers.

But she will never find the knifes
cutting slowly in your mind.
For you are hopeless.

How do you suppose
you can capture your potential
when you speak
as if your goals
are hopeless

everything is covered in ****
i step in it, i sleep in it
i feel it running down my back in the
lukewarm shower
my slippers are sopping wet

right eye is red and stinging
it feels like nothing is clean

there are no black lights
i cannot find every stain to
kneel in front of with paper towels
and blot until **** and saltwater blend
so i mop the entire floor

throw away the couch;
i was never told it gets so hard to feel clean

do you ever miss the rain?

which one?

that one.

yeah i do.

the simple feelings of safety

the smell of the rain

the similarity of home

where you didnt care about technicality

or psychology

when nobody cared about each other but felt home

do you miss the old screen?

you mean the OS?

no the screen

where it was simple but complex

the feeling of the rain mixed

feeling of friends

not that feeling

the other feeling

the similarity of the old layout

not old the better one

yeah the better one

where it seemed as if you knew it for so long

but you didn't

when everyone was innocent

no sketches

playing at home with no pressure

with a head that stops when you stop

the feeling of feeling as if the adults know everything out there

where you felt as if being sad was just a myth

miss the old room?

which one?

the magical one

where your imagination ruled the emptiness

now filled with a head that is technical as it can be

why?

because maturing

looking at the abyss called reality

where everybody is a child

being an adult is just a myth

everybody feels alone, feels selfish, trying to wisen up

they can’t

because you just can't

wise people aren't wise

they aren't adults

they are just children

acting like adults

people want to get on top

why?

because

why?

why not?

everybody looks up to you

everybody obeys to your rules

they aren't forced to or obliged to

they just do

why?

because they are searching for an example of an adult

they search for a person to look up to that no one can look down on you for

but when you are the person on top

you still feel alone

you don't feel complete

you feel like a child

but then you look for another person to look up to

there are no other

so the cycle continues

everybody stomping on each other

we are on top of a flying rock and everyone is focused on looking down upon people with different imaginary views

why?

why not just have fun?

do you ever miss the rain?

which one?