something that scares me
is that so many people feel like i do

i smiled as my final tear
stained the concrete
then i pulled the trigger
and the world went dark.

I'm standing here in the shower,
scalding hot water running down my skin.
A desperate attempt to gain back power
over the harrowing pain within.
But I feel myself fading away,
with every tear dripping off my chin.
And I am longing for the day,
when this will all just be a distant memory.

Breathing empty air just to pass time
Sometimes scribble on the wall I am stuck behind
I am ready to break through thick bricks
They are a mess of emotions mixed
Prefer to sit idly as they fall one by one
They are stacking up and there's nowhere to run
Each piece of my heart tumbles down
A multitude of building blocks scattered all around

Hopeless without a goal
Reckless without a soul
Bound to self destruct
With everything going around
My heart is left with a hole.

Whenever I come undone
Just hold my hand
And say my name.
I may come to you in pieces
But you make me whole.

Lavender lotion
Mom told me that would make it better
Just breathe once or twice
And put on that one old fleece lined sweater
Pray to god and heaven and angel
Put my thoughts down in a letter
Lavender lotion, lavender lotion
Was nothing but a happiness debtor