i cannot seem to find any air
when i am with you .
                                    .
                         ­             .

so
i try to make myself anew,
and then
push myself out into a world where i find that
then
i cannot breathe,

and so when you hit me,
instead of laughing,
i just choke ,

and instead, when i feel water
in my lungs,
i heave
instead of hiccuping,
and finally understand why
i am not the favorite child.
.

Moon beaming through clouds
white light pierces fog, grows closer
tail light flees the scene

again hit the nail
what is next to the verses
what is next to the most beautiful
and the most wonderful phenomenon
phenomena
effects
pears

again hit him
again with his right foot
how sick of it
how sad from this
why is he doing this to me so
this nail

13.08.18

It wasn’t so much
Like falling
As it was being hit
By a fifty-ton train
That jolted me awake.

Ghosts are real
They live within us
Haunting our past mistakes
Having us live in fear
Of the future