i blow the smoke out

along with my worries for the night

i feel my eyes get heavy

i feel my body getting light

see my veins protruding under my skin

hear my heart pounding aggressively within

my stomach yearns for hot food

the music puts me in a good mood

i feel a roller coaster in my head

before i know it I'm in bed

I don’t want to get down
I want to get high
To stay high
To fly high
Out of it

i just wanna get f*cked up so maybe then i'll forget the way your lips taste when you've just had smoke in your lungs.

Sometimes I wish I could disappear
They never guessed this would rip me in half,
This is ripping me in half.
But it’s fine,
It’s just fine.
I can’t get high anymore,
I can’t get high because I need more and more and more and it’s never enough. It’s never enough to forget.
It’s never enough to forgive.
I can taste metal in my dreams—
this is all the life I’ll ever need.

I just want you to know
That if someone asked if you were a good person
I would vouch for you
I’d even make out on the couch with you
Like in high school
And I know you’ll do stupid **** sometimes
But just promise you’ll be my fool

I'm so confused
I crave my own demise
But believe I have a purpose
I know I'm loved,
But I don't want it
I chase after highs
To capture escape
Then savor the crash
The pain, my justice
And honestly,
I'll do anything
If it makes my mind
Float away
From the tempest
Within my flesh

You got me high
Then let me fall
I hit the ground
And now
I don't know
If I want
To get back up
Out of my hell

one day
you're outside riding your bike
getting scrapes on your knees
that your mother kisses
after she's bandaged

one day you're running outside with your friends
throwing water balloons
without a care in the world

one day you're sitting in class
praying to go home
and for time to move faster

one day you'll hear your name called out
loud and clear
a stage awaiting your footsteps toward your future

one day it will all be over
appreciate it now
you don't have
as much time
as you think