Maybe I can write myself high
Convince my mind to detach
To float off into another world
Where breath isn't followed by regret
With persuasive, sensual words
Searching for the right combination
My entire body relaxes
A grin grows on my lips
My eyes wander lazily
As I savor the rush
My mind empties
Breath slow and even
Hazy surroundings whirl
The ground bends under my feet
I laugh loudly
As my knees buckle and I stagger
For a while, nothing matters
If only I had the right words...

We'll judge you when we're high
when we're high
You're a creature, you're divine
You're my comfort love
you are fine

I will judge you in my mind
I will judge you in my mind

You're a story you're a lie
Educate me when you smile
Beauty thank you that I'm high
Darling thank you that I'm high

So I could judge you
in my mind
Sort of like a magazine photo
I'll stare at late at night
So I could love you till I die

Fully in my mind when we're high
when we're high
You're a creature you're divine
You're my comfort love
you are fine

I will judge you in my mind
I will judge you in my mind

You're a story you're a lie
Educate me when you smile
Beauty thank you I'm high
Darling thank you that I'm high

So I could judge you
in my mind
So I'll convulse you
In my mind
So I could love you till I die

Fully in my mind

Find me a drug
To end this mundanity
I was so **** low
Until I started those pills
Then I swung up so high
Even this sad life I live
Felt exquisite
Everything was exciting
It all made me smile
It was probably fake
But I don’t really care
Because now I’m fine
And that’s the problem
I can’t stand “fine”
I’m adrift in reality
And frankly
I’m not a fan

Sunlight mist
Light a spliff
Lay down
Learn to drift

Of the two lamps in the room,
my glassy eyes can only tolerate the dimmed glow
of the lower light from the right,
my face basking in the slowly rotating,
barely blowing air from the fan above me.
My face feels flushed,
but not from the semi-sticky early summer heat,
but from the fact that
every time I come back to this room,
I'm reminded of why I left.

The lawyer in me could generate a list,
pros longer than any construction of cons,
yet your name will always reverberate
in the unforgotten corners of my subconscious.

You never loved me like I did you,
and even my romanticized version of you never
saw me the way I
still feel the ghost of you.

I can still feel the crisp fall air from your balcony
and recall the albums and conversations that
complete the track list
of my unrequited love story.

Sometimes it was real,
sometimes it's real,
sometimes it's a dream,
sometimes it's a memory.

And this is the essence of you and me;
it's more questions than answers,
smoke and mirrors and
smoking to make things clearer.

I've never been the same
since you,
but I also don't know how I can ever
get over someone I never really had.

You were mine in microcosms
that were macro extraterrestrial galactic;

was it real?
were we real or
was it all [science] fiction?

Is it true?
Think thoroughly

Close the doors
Are you ready to face them?

You don’t have to be the one
That opens the curtains in the morning
But why not?
How about we try?

Consecutive success sounds boring
Let’s try something new this time
Just for once
It probably won’t hurt

It’s much easier to stop than you think
It’s mostly your childhood bias that makes you think so
Children find it hard to resist pleasure
You? Not as much as them

Experiment
It’s fun to do every once in a while

Sometimes you’ll see something interesting at school

You don’t need to befriend every single person
In the same vein,
You don’t need to have everyone’s amiability
It would be better, but it’s not necessary

You will meet some friends
Some who will stay with you
Some who shared a chapter of your life
And gave their farewells
And one
(Or two. Or three. However you like)
Of those who stay
Will be your lover
(Or lovers. However you like)

Sometimes it’s easier to laugh than mope

If doing something for yourself means
That you should do something you dislike
Choose one. There’s no wrong answer
But remember the consequences
You might not always like them

When you decide you want to love
Deciding is enough
It might come, or it might not
Whatever it is, enjoy

You aren’t your ideal of beauty
But if you look at yourself long enough
In the mirror
You will see what some others do
Stare into your eyes
Caress the shape of your lips with your gaze
Try and stare apathetically at your reflection
You can’t

Do you have a hairy body?
Okay
Do you have a hairless body?
Alright

Decisions, decisions...
They make up most
But not all
Even so, it's a step

So your friend liked it
Do you actually want to lend it?
Do you feel obligated to?
Because if you don't want to, don't

If let, people will choose to ignore
Not many want to engage

You are what you want to be
You might not think so, but it counts
At least, where it matters

What matters who you love?
Relying on family's support...
It's nothing to worry about.
They'll die at some point, and you are free of them.
There's no shame in breaking off from the chain.

Keep your support, don't alienate them
But don't depend on them. For if you want freedom,
You need your own help

                                                But most of all
                                      
                            remember that everything will be okay.

i blow the smoke out

along with my worries for the night

i feel my eyes get heavy

i feel my body getting light

see my veins protruding under my skin

hear my heart pounding aggressively within

my stomach yearns for hot food

the music puts me in a good mood

i feel a roller coaster in my head

before i know it I'm in bed

I don’t want to get down
I want to get high
To stay high
To fly high
Out of it

i just wanna get f*cked up so maybe then i'll forget the way your lips taste when you've just had smoke in your lungs.