Hide in a closet
You assume
All is good
But never assume

For I hide
For a reason
For I’m here
Because of treason

I cry
But why
Is it because I wore a smile
Or because you played along for awhile

The reason
I hide
Is cause of treason
But who betrayed who

The liar
The actor

Or you
The one
Who played along
When the situation became dire

(cont..)

perhaps you know my friend misery
me & her have quite the history
although i only met her last year
i've known her all my life , i fear
i cannot seem to get out of bed
i'm hanging on , just barely , by a thread
i cannot seem to get the **** out of bed
to start the day , wondering , how long is it going to dread?

i'm quiet so nobody notices
they say i'm tired
ha , prbly hungover
don't worry this feeling will pass over
well you wanted to drown me in drugs
surely i got it
with depression
how could you not notice?
when you were my bestfriend?
& now i wish everyday that it would end

everyone around me
living happily
& than there is me
drowning
my mom says 'why are you such a drunk?
you drink everyday
get outta this funk'
well mom , i drink to take the pain away
i wish i could tell you straight to your face
i'm on a drug i do not wish to take
but i fear you will guilt me & say my words are fake
'you drink for your own ***** sake'

how could i tell you i'm living like this?
how could i tell anyone?
i sit back , & i wonder where did all this start?
did it start with my abusive father
or the one who left before i was born
did it start when people brought me down
& said i wasn't good enough?
i turned & looked to god
yet i still felt lost

but i know i'm tough
laid up in a world so tough
& so here's me living with depression & anxiety
hand in hand
that's quite a hoax
but here's to a part of me i've never told
here's a part of me that you never knew

Hi, my name is Chase
and I live within your life.
All I am is just a lie.
I'll never sacrifice.
Suicide is king
and I'm the ******* queen.
Don't wanna be a girl.
Do you know what I mean?

I never tell the truth.
No, my fears get in the way.
It's happened once before,
but I guess I'll never change.
Scars will start to cover me.
Legs onto my wrist.
Punching holes into your soul.
Make contact with your fist.

I am just so used to it,
but god I want to stop.
But boy if I told you the truth
I'd lose you on the spot.
Sometimes I just wanna die.
Drown in my blood and tears.
I say that I fear nothing,
but you are my only fear.

So, down I will go spiraling.
I'll just keep on conspiring.
I will never tell the truth.
There is just too much to lose.

Trapped in lies.
Trapped in lies.
I'm trapped inside.
Throw the truth aside.
Trapped in lies.
I'll always hide.

Cut myself wide open.
Try to let it out.
But the moment that I see you
my head it fills with doubt.
It could never work.
I just cannot be me.
I'm sorry to say boy
you aren't the golden key.

You're not the key to happiness
for I do not believe.
But still I have to smile.
Make me fall down to my knees.
I smile on the outside,
but trapped inside I cry.
I look like I live life,
but my one hope is to die.

Trapped in lies.
Trapped in lies.
I'm trapped inside.
Throw the truth aside.
Trapped in lies.
I'll always hide.

You look at me with love.
I look at you with sorrow.
This lie will never end.
It still goes on tomorrow.
It's a never ending nightmare.
I wish it were a dream.
Sick of my life cheating.
Falling apart at the seams.

I wish I'd never started.
Now, it's too late to go back.
The past is not the present,
but my future looks too black.

I know you want to make this work,
but take a look at me.
Everything you see
isn't what it seems to be.
I am just a lie.
I am living through your life.
So, baby please just end it.
Yes, end my lies tonight.

Trapped in lies.
Trapped in lies.
I'm trapped inside.
Throw the truth aside.
Trapped in lies.
I'll always hide.

I am just so tired.
I want to stop the act.
Don't know why I started.
All I know is I lost track.
I lost track of the time
and all the memories.
I don't even know
who the **** I'm supposed to be.

Got caught up in my lies.
Don't know how to let go.
Hardly even anybody
really even knows.
I hardly know myself.
Now, isn't that sad?
Cuz I hardly know you
and it's driving me mad.

And the anger inside
turns me into a beast.
Pulls me inside.
Now, I'm a killing machine.
This is the side of me I never let show.
But is it the real me?
He ******* hopes so.

I guess I'll just keep lying
to you and to myself.
I guess I'll tell my lies
to everybody else.
Maybe one day
I'll find the guts to change.
But for now I'll keep lying.
Keep you out of my range.

Trapped in lies.
Trapped in lies.
I'm trapped inside.
Throw the truth aside.
Trapped in lies.
I'll always hide.

Start, like another
End, like every other
Alone, UtI, spinning web
Like I believe I'm the spider
The weaver, weaving, tearing down
Start today
End tonight

Under the influence for years
I'll never pronounce it wrong
I start like another
I end like every other

While I wasted the time waiting for you to leave
I never once thought I would commit arson
Burn the memories we made
(Though, I did)

(I saw the start and new the end)

Keep putting on a good front, let the world see that gleaming, brilliant smile you wear so well.
Let the laughter pour out like the drinks that keep sliding towards you on that bar.
Please, continue to be the class clown, make them laugh, make them wonder how you're oh, so, cool.

You put on a good front, babe.
You sure made them believe.
You put on a perfect smile, babe.
You sure let them wonder.

But I know you better then they do.
I know that smile hides sadness and fear of never being perfect.
I know those eyes hide hate for yourself and where you're at in life.

So, go ahead babe, put on that smile you wear so well.
Please let them see you laughing because god forbid they see you cry.
Continue being the confident one because we know the rest of us need a little more help.
Just remember the next time you talk about me, you're just as afraid of failing as I am.