(cont..)

perhaps you know my friend misery
me & her have quite the history
although i only met her last year
i've known her all my life , i fear
i cannot seem to get out of bed
i'm hanging on , just barely , by a thread
i cannot seem to get the **** out of bed
to start the day , wondering , how long is it going to dread?

i'm quiet so nobody notices
they say i'm tired
ha , prbly hungover
don't worry this feeling will pass over
well you wanted to drown me in drugs
surely i got it
with depression
how could you not notice?
when you were my bestfriend?
& now i wish everyday that it would end

everyone around me
living happily
& than there is me
drowning
my mom says 'why are you such a drunk?
you drink everyday
get outta this funk'
well mom , i drink to take the pain away
i wish i could tell you straight to your face
i'm on a drug i do not wish to take
but i fear you will guilt me & say my words are fake
'you drink for your own ***** sake'

how could i tell you i'm living like this?
how could i tell anyone?
i sit back , & i wonder where did all this start?
did it start with my abusive father
or the one who left before i was born
did it start when people brought me down
& said i wasn't good enough?
i turned & looked to god
yet i still felt lost

but i know i'm tough
laid up in a world so tough
& so here's me living with depression & anxiety
hand in hand
that's quite a hoax
but here's to a part of me i've never told
here's a part of me that you never knew