1950s kindergarten
cute, dark-haired girl
in jumper dress,
bright-red tights,
walking towards me
smiling...

I run away with sweaty hands...

Cautious and steady, yet dangerous
With only the touch of her hands.
Laboring, never pretty.
Always gentle.
Calloused from the weight of
Her home,
Her sacrifice.
Her hands, always giving.

Lather, rinse, repeat:
Each time an opportunity to start again.
The soft curve
Cutting through my pain.
Strong and firm, yet merciful.
Comforting, never automatic.
My body’s lullaby.
Her hands, always giving.

You were my suffocation,
   but I didn't mind

                    your fingers over

my mouth.


I  still licked your fingers
              through my teeth.


asphyxiation delusions,
                               but I tasted you,
              which was taster than breath.

I'll suffocate for you, even though i cant inhale.

exhaling is temporary,
                    but I'll always breath you inward.

He smelled like
cigarettes
and fallen angel dust,

Tragically
soft.

Rain
Pour down upon me
Fill my nose with your scent
My eyes with your cascading droplets
My ears with your pitter-patter
My hands filling to become small pools
My mouth with your refreshing and cool take-over

Calm me
Then release me
Make me wild
Laughter erupting from deep within
Fondness

O, what a wonder!
O, what a blissful time!

Bring me life
Make me anew

- Jay M
October 22nd, 2019

I don't need to understand your problems as I hold your hand to help you through them

You don't need to understand my words to support me as I try to fight my demons and manage through them

It will all stop abruptly
I'll be hit with a lack of presence
New cold hands
No more forehead kisses
No more late night cuddles
That get us in trouble
Because we sleep all night
And miss class the next morning
The drives around town when the sun is down
Unplanned pizza stops
With jam sessions in the car after
All will become a thing of the past
I don't want to believe it will happen
But I know that you will leave
Walk out my room, and never drive back
Exiting abruptly

oh darling,
undress me
I want to feel
my lips against your lips
skin against skin
hands wandering on your
damped body
touching you
careful and slowly
kiss me passionately
  
                 & love me deep.