The sounds that I hear
paint tapestry in my mind
My eyes, though they are closed
see everything,
Every motion, sings out
shouts to be heard
Nothing is missed
though to some
All sound seems din
and all noise simply
collides
to me
Each word
Each sound
is different
I follow
the conversations
Eavesdropping
in plain sight
once again
I go unnoticed
as I paint
this tapestry

Ghosts haunted my vision
I felt like my soul was being dragged up through my throat
I lost my balance, feet failing to hold
This is the beginning of what my nightmares foretold

I lay curled at the bottom of the narrow chamber
The water pounded on my bare figure
I couldn’t move, I struggled to look up at the light
Just as well, my soul was too dim, the illumination too bright

Memories haunted the reminisce of my emotions
The people I hurt, who in the end hurt me
While my empathy was stolen a long time ago
It seemed to devour me, silent and slow

I bashed my head on the hard, tiled floor
Trying to release my head of demons
But I soon realized to get rid of them surely
I should get rid of myself, the one who treats me so poorly

I know it may seem like there was no good reason
Like my mind was out of place, I wasn’t thinking straight
But my fate was determined everyday
When my thoughts took over, my conscious too astray

I started to think what would happen after
The expressions as disappointment and relief
I knew it wouldn’t be long before people forgot
About that soul who belonged here not

So in the last minutes as flat water trickled through my lips
The high warm water sweeping around me like a liquid blanket
I thought of the people who never knew what caused the sight
Of the girl who never got the chance to say goodnight

I crawled out the narrow claustration
The water still running
My heart still beating
Alive

My nightmare was true.

I heard voices,
voices so disturbing,
they chilled every freckle
on my nerves.
I walked beside mortals
who'd not flinch
before cutting and having
my flesh for
a routine dinner
like pieces of
raw meat.
I sang songs
about death
and fear
and complexities
that would likely
wither me off
to the unknown.

All of this,
and then,
I woke up.
.
.
Or so I thought.

I'm just

I can't feel my lips
on my face
so still
i cant move them
on their own
i can't tell if they are parted
i can't tell if they exist
i can't feel my hips or
my feet, or my lefs
i can't move them
i can't feel them

i want to break
i want all of the confusion, the disconnectedness
i can cry

but i can't escape this
and i can't can't escape this
there is no break

a million scattered shattered steps
stood stunning
chameleon flattered

I can't move.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6n_z-FdEkw&feature;=youtu.be
^unlisted

A dream,
a daydream within a fever:

I see,
a long road-
beside,
several narrow roads-
seen or unseen
known or unknown

high fever
my body burning
looping within hallucination

your's-
uneven low voice
some broken words
playing jigsaw with me

yet everything your's
me and my fever too

@Musfiq us shaleheen

I try to be in the moment
But, lately, I see myself somewhere else:
Not here,
Not here,
Not here.

I try to see what there really is to see
But, lately, I find myself seeing
Ones that are not here:
You,
You,
You.

and it gets harder to breathe when the only thing keeping                                                            
me alive is an hallucination of
your fingertips that trace patterns
down my spine
when i awake to find coldness
by my side, embracing me
with its trendils that should have been your
arms. so i heave a sigh as i
try to live with dead weight limbs that
drag me down, and it gets
harder when i search the crowds
for your face, knowing that i'd never
catch the slightest glimpse of my safe haven again
and i try (unsuccessfully) to soothe the stinging
wound of knowing that you left
without saying goodbye.