Lost in the chaos
alone in the crowd.

I don't know who I am anymore;
since you've gone so much has changed.

Everything is unfamiliar,
everything is gray.

Days have passed with not but a smile on my face.
I pray to God
this day,
to give me grace.

This life so long
so bleak.
This Misery so real,
so harsh.
These days I don't know who I am,
most nights,
dreams hide and tears stream.

How to move on
when you're so far away?

Lost in the misery
alone in the chaos.
I drown in the loneliness,
I agonize through these dark times.

Tell me love,
when is the dawn?

The darkened hall grew around me
as she came, the breath in my
lungs filled and stilled, halting as I halted
the moment from passing
her skin without blemish, her hair
so short compared to my own
her eyes black voids to another
universe no longer recognized
her mouth turned up, though sewn
closed locking inside a world once
seen clearly in a childlike mind
and though time was still, all I
had ever wanted was looking at me
and it was the most terrifying experience
of my half life and I wondered
how scared was she, staring
into the future? I wondered if to her
my eyes were fallen, my skin so pale
especially in the muted gray
if she saw a destroyed fantasy
or a kiss of hope, and I wondered
if she knew too much because
sometimes it is best to be uncertain
and be happy than to be sure
but always disappointed
but my fear turned to agony when she
acknowledged my existence that
in the turn of this realm I am real
that she accepted me for all I
am and never will become
so dear I hold her, so far away she stands
with one arm gracefully raised
“Take me with you,” a prayer to understand
but I cannot, I will not
because I want her to remain uncertain
in loving memory.

You fill me with worry.
That equal feeling as my eyes roll upwards
towards that solitary rain cloud in an otherwise sun-fuelled sky.
You make me want to raise my *******
and shout, ‘*******’.

We count hours slowly
Hot humid air hangs leaden
The days thick and course
Persistent, overbearing
So eternally August

Gray skies  in August
Muddle by as a gust of wind pushes you on
You're walking alone
The first chill of winter enters your bones
But it's not time to go home
You've got someplace to go
And some time to stow away
At the end of this day
You don't have a say in what the future brings
The ice will soon take hold
As August comes and goes
The coming snow will cast an eternal spell
And as August passes from summertime blues
To a winter of truths
The chill will still any lingering thoughts of self doubt
And you might just weather on
Even though the last days of August
Are gone

Vast realm
of
lifeless bodies roaming the streets
souls headed in no particular direction
achromatic skies roll on eternally
the seemingly colossal heap of rotted decayed yesterdays
indistinguishable
men with not the faintest inkling of a mission
encaged  by the desolate frozen grounds he once roamed freely
enslaved by his own ruthless vindictive mind
exuding gusts of bitter, bone chilling air
overpowering
encapsulating
ensnaring me in its wrath.
And I,
I so invincible,
I so inviolable..
I Crumble.
Just like that.

All Day
I could stay by the window
Listening and watching
Clear gray skies
And the fall of the rain
On a Summer's day.

Permanent gray clouds hover near,
The rain that follows is what I fear.
I run for shelter but there is nothing here.
The showers don't start off small
Oh, life doesn't like me at all.
The things that bring me solace are slim
and my future in this world is looking pretty grim.
I will not let the clouds swallow me up
so instead I drown my sadness in a cup.
All I can do is wish for sun tomorrow
to hopefully dry up all my sorrow.

Sight is melting,
pain is fading away,
i am drunk,
drunk on these days.

Beer is nice,
drinking beer is cool,
but i really am,
just a desperate fool.

I am staring at screen,
surrounded by walls,
remembering all those,
late-night talks.

I am so lonely,
like a hitchhiker in night,
meeting some people,
with worn out soul and heart.