Your eyes tell me how you really feel
The once bright stars I used to see
Are now lost in your blue eyes sea
The glowing is gone
And I know
I will never have you
The way that I used to

Lost to us were the
bright and sunny days in the 60s,
lazy afternoons & the pristine scent of grass after rain,
all that matters is invisible to our naked eye.

Time is the bottle
we cram memories with &
fleeting is our being ****** into an unprepared tomorrow,
drowning in the long-gone reverie of yesterday

Nostalgia is the sweet lie we murmured, the small
cloud of dust suspended in the air &
the smoke rings spiralled toward
a December night sky.

Forgotten dreams & present madness is a
scratched vinyl record stuck in the fissure of time;
crackling noise muffling our sighs —
Gone, they say, gone.

You told me
there was a certain beauty in the never-return —
cherries wither into whispers of smoke,
river shivers upon winter's stroke
sparrows mourn and sing and forget,
how we used to be strangers, lovers, then strangers again
deep in the darkness you stared at me, smiling
with a mouth of pearly teeth
crushing the piling blossoms underneath, saying
I better remember this fading fragrance, and
carry it to your grave,
for this is our last parade.

I would like to slip softly, kindly, into the abyss..
That sweet nothingness, which cradles all in darkness.

I wish to become part of it,
Letting that cold emptiness entwine itself, into my thoughts, smothering them into decay.

I seek to see no trace left, of this mortality I hold.
To let it drift away on oceans of black, eventually sinking sweetly beneath the tectonic plates.

Erased.

As I sit here
In the same desk
Looking across
Only seeing you're gone.

Listening to this sad song
I can't help but want to hold you
But you're at home
Where I can't reach you
Wishing to make sure you're alright...

"Hold on,"
Friend, do I worry too much?
Do I care too much
That every inch of me aches when you're gone?
Even if only for the day
Knowing I'll probably see you tomorrow
I still wish to run in and hold you...

Friend of mine,
C,
I care so much
But what does that matter?

I'm trying to continue
Partially have
But still I care for you.

Is this friendship I feel
Or is it something stronger?

Either way
I care, I worry,
Because I'm only human.

- Jay M
April 11th, 2019

I can feel it

The glaze of your eyes
The air that filled your lungs
Warmth in your hand

Now it's different
You turn into monster
You burn anyone that come

Now your lips whisper potion
Your eyes showing thunder

May i know?
Where to find the old you?