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grumpV Nov 2020
mom loved me
dad didnt care
mom stayed close
dad wasn't there
there is a difference
grumpV Nov 2020
the world could be better
if i disappeared
no more pain in my head
and no more judgement that sneered

death seems scary
unless you understand
if you think about the benefits
you'll instantly take his hand

Your tears create canyons
down your cheeks to your chin
id totally leave this earth,
a dark world of sin.

i like the color yellow
it makes my eyes shine
but not even the colors
can change my harsh mind

i think im still here
because im scared of the truth
what happens to my family
if they ever knew?

they walk to my room
a note on the door
they see my limp body
laying on the floor

your sweet little girl
not so sweet anymore
she died a long time ago..
she's rot to the core
just some thoughts i get from time to time

thanks for reading!!
grumpV Nov 2020
hey dad
i knew talking to you was pointless
cause you still think you were right.

you don't wanna know my hurt.
you don't want to understand the pain and agony in my head, in my heart because you never cared enough to ask.
you never even tried to be there.
none of you did.

where were you when the leaves fell off the trees like the tears from my eyes in the cold winter air as you smoked away your problems.
as you smoked away me.
one puff more as i begged you to stop, but of course you didn't.
you never listened to me anyways.

threaten to put your hands on me.
you always seemed to fix your problems with drugs and violence.
every excuse is a new step towards the breaking point.
the breaking point is what i'm scared of.

its like every hurtful word is another blade on my skin.
crimson blood puddles flowing out of every crack you left in me.
if my own father left me.. how am i supposed to trust that no one else will?

it seems i cant be happy.
whenever it gets better, i fall back down into the dark.
broken even more as i smack down at the bottom of the pit.
in my
left alone

you scorched the burning hate in my soul for anyone like you.
you showed me that no one can change.
not even after my 14 years of life, have you changed.

i hope you feel your empty soul ache as you see me finally happy that i let you go.

i hope you break as you hold the little necklace i held so dear to me.

i hope you feel your heart rot as your kids go on to live their lives without you.

i hope you are happy.

i have been disowned from my dad's side of the "family"
guess they can stand on the sidelines and watch my success from there
but they wont be part of it

— The End —