It left me on a cold night where I couldn't close my eyes,
When the moon was low in the sky,
Morning broke like fine china and the sun brought fire above,
But birds didn’t carry their same beautiful tune,
Colors didn't paint things as they once did,
Laughs couldn't escape my heart the same,
Smiles never played on my lips,
They just pained on the inside.
It left like a dreaming sailor,
Slowly it escaped further away,
Until it became a small dot on the horizon,
Then non-existent.
It was bound for a better life,
Disregarding its holder because it knew better,
Needing someone who cradled it like a first-born child,
Aching for a holder worthy of its potential.
It was chased away by my burdens,
That placed a weight upon them and forced them underwater.
It’s feared of being polluted by the clouds above my mind,
Combining with the dreadful darkness.
So it fled on a golden stead with not force against the front,
With moonflower horses and servants replenishing its cup,
As if it were too good for me.
I wasn't able to chase down the gleam that soared away.
Sometimes I go looking in the depths of an overgrown forest,
Searching for the candle that illuminates the night,
Burdens become heavier than then the sins of humanity,
I travel with lumber as my legs crumble down,
Yet, I continue to press forward with a cavity in my chest.
One day I'll stop my quest,
And retreat back to the dark,
Leaving fixes nothing, but took the longing off my heart.
I still miss the silver platter of hope and everything tied in.
I wish to see the bright colors dazzle my eyes,
To find enough room to smile and create astounding joy,
But it's probably found a new land,
That's supplied with better fillers and gigantic love,
Living to it's fullest potential on a beautiful beach,
With someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Someone who doesn't need it, like the depression in me.
This poem came to me late at night on a full moon as I was having a large battle with myself. It made me realize what in me was missing and that was my happiness. Two days later I'm sitting in a doctors office and given two options. Take medicine or figure out how to deal on my own. I wasn't ready to lose hope in finding my happiness, even if my burdens loom above
-Carly
