If we meet again
and I think we will
maybe in another lifetime
you won’t remember
what you did to me.
Not the breaking,
not the silence,
not the way I begged with eyes you never understood.

And still,
I’ll try find you.

I’ll walk through the lives I’m given
searching for the shape of your hands,
the way your voice hesitates before lying.
I’ll know it,
even in another language.


Some loves aren’t meant to be safe
just permanent.
Etched into the soul
like a name we forget
but still flinch at when it’s spoken.

But if I catch a glimpse of you
on a crowded street
or in the eyes of a stranger
I’ll stop.
I’ll look.
And I’ll let my heart break
all over again.

Because loving you
was never a choice.
It was a sentence
I accepted
lifetimes ago.

I’ll look for you
Even in places
I know you aren’t.

Because love like this,
doesn't just die
even when we do.

I am ready to enter the next stage in my life, where fighting means letting go and allowing things to flow, and life isn't just about survival.
Where change doesn't signify failure, and life opens to me, and I receive it, without fear.
I'm uncertain where this destination will lead me, one thing is for sure, it won't be here...

-Rhia Clay

I thank God for continued healing.
I have had to yield and allow my body to endure the hurt, releasing my ego more times than I can remember.
Though I have been saved and revitalized countless times.
There is healing in this rain, and growth flourishes in his presence.
Joy flows through like water through a dam, released through prayer and faith.
God has never lost sight of me, even when I could no longer find myself.
No words can measure my thanks.
Still, I raise my hands in praise anyway.

-Rhia Clay

We made love
till even love
blushed
and
had to look away

A spiritual journey is funny.
Just when you think you've lost, you've actually won.
Not because you gave up, but because you learned to let go...

-Rhia Clay

I’ve been climbing
up a winding oak

It’s stump twisting and turning
I held tightly to my rope

I journeyed past the vast wooden trunk,
past tiny ant colonies, and lady bug beetles

I made my way up to the top
past thorny branches that felt like needles

I found a canopy of leaves and sunshine
as I climbed further up the tree

But my foot slipped, my heart skipped,
and I dared to look below me

I had pictured below for so long,
Imagining an endless pit of doom

How surprised I felt when instead I saw
grass and flowers in full bloom

I stopped climbing then and just let go,
No longer in need of a tight rope

I spent so long climbing
up that old oak

I forgot to feel the breeze around me,
to listen when my heart spoke.

a high mood                                          
could skip along like a child
a practical joke      i give a sharp pull
         on the strings of Everything
jape's on me                                          
         as i am tugged from off of my feet
           and tumbled on the ground
         laughing any-which-way

the day sky   fills with lenses          
                    enough to displace the stars
but there too much for them to see
efforts made mockable
the pattern baffling the pattern
with misunderstood importance

release      and i enjoy the sun
                 for being the sun