It is entirely possible to hate someone with all your heart but at the same time care about them so deeply that you would give your life for them.
You can look at someone who has hurt you so badly and still want to run into their arms and seek comfort from them.
And someone who has caused you an immense amount of pain and trauma can still be one of the people you love the most.
I wish my mom would look at me as a person rather than a prize
In her eyes parenting is a competition
If I choose to spend more time with him she is losing
But she must win, to her, there is no other option
Then the minute she is ahead she loses the ability to even acknowledge me
Because of her, I am lacking in the stability I so often crave
Online I found a guy
He didn't look too bad
He lived only an hour away
He said he was 17
Only three years older than me
We made plans to meet up
I was excited
I was going to have *** for the very first time
I wasn't thinking about all of the dangers
I could've been kidnapped
I could've been murdered
I could have been put into *** trafficking
I am lucky I didn't get hurt
But on his way to pick me up
He said he was 19
Only five years older than me
I was scared
But there was no time to change my mind
At fourteen I lost my virginity
To a nineteen year old stranger
Afterwards I panicked
I confided in someone
And they reported the incident
I didn't mean to get him in trouble
But as the police were investigating
They said he was 27
Only thirteen years older than me
This is my story about online predators and I got really lucky because this could've ended a lot worse than it did. But I really hope this teaches people how dangerous talking to strangers online can be, and how the "it won't happen to me" mentality can end very badly.
If only you could see
I will never truly be free
After all of the damage
You've done to me
Sometimes love is funny
Sometimes you fall in love with someone too old,
Or sometimes you fall in love with someone who's simply too far away
Someone who is so perfect,
Yet someone who always seems just out of reach
I, once again, find myself barely hanging on,
Trying desperately not to sink in a crowd
Full of people who simply do not care.
Until I escaped into the school bathrooms
And saw the blood trickling down my arm,
I felt at peace.
Until even the people who once made me happy
No longer brought me anything but despair
Simply because I was too scared to disappoint them.
Until the bottle of pills was rattling in between my shaky fingers.
The tears would no longer come,
For the world I live in has let me experience too much horror
And now even death doesn’t scare me.
Still, I tried,
One final time I called out as I slipped away,
But there was no one left to help me now.
— The End —