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D A W N Mar 2018
Darling, you know what they say
Karma's a *****
Everything u say, everything u do will always come straight back to you.
All the things and all the words I've said to you, done to you came running straight back to me like a thrown boomerang. I've always said I'd never be that girl. Id never be that girl who's mind constantly always hovers around boys. I'd never be that girl who's constantly moving from table to table on crammed bars at 2 am like a morning vacation. I've always said I'd never be that girl who's tongue would be traveling from men's mouth,raveling,battling, teeth clashing.I've always said I'd never be that girl who'll drink her soul away over a boy who molds her into a clay that consistently tells her to do this and that, over a boy who constantly reminds her to wear that because she's fat, over a boy who tells her to say this and that. I've always said I'd never be that girl that'll ditch her friends, I've always said I'd never put anybody on the latter, I've always said I'd keep promises and give you what your heart desires. I've always said I'd be that friend that'll walk with you in the rain with no cover, I've always said I'd be that somebody that'll promise you I'd never be like the others. But the "others" became me. I became the product of every thing I never wanted to be. So here I am playing fire and gets burned after. Here I am dancing with the devil and complains why I'm in hell. Here I am oblivious to the consequences. I am the girl of everything I never wanted to be.
A piece of my mind and its unedited so why not
Mister J Jan 2018
I am damaged
Broken to the core
Discarded and left behind
Alone in this life
I can't see an escape
My heart feels heavy
My mind is twisted
Yet no one understands

I may be depressed
or probably anxious
One thing's for sure though
I'm a messy storm
Trapped in a bottomless hell
Where no one can hear
No matter how much I scream
No body seems to notice

I'm in a prison of anxiety
A delusional reality
A paradoxical identity
Where no one can help me
I am a sinner
Never a saint
I know what's coming for me
But still I ask for help

I'm twisted and broken
Left to dust and the elements
No matter how much I cling on
To those who should care
Nobody hears my deranged cries
And my dying soul inside
Being consumed by anger
Guilt and loneliness

Why can't they see me?
Why can't they hear me suffer?
I'm falling in an endless pit
No end in sight
Just **** me now
I can't do what you want right
I can't be what you want me to be
So don't expect from me anymore

These feelings are no joke
I am hollow inside
Devoid from emotion
With no will to live
Contemplating my life
To move on or leave it here
Do I take the plunge?
Or just let them batter me more?

Ah, there it is
The fear of uncertainty
If I end it all here
I still fear what may happen next
So maybe there's still hope
I'm not yet dead inside
I still want to breathe
To suffer and feel alive

This poem is proof
That I'm ****** up in the head
A disaster in the making
See my point if I said
That everything here doesn't make sense?
-J

A summary of what I currently feel
I just jotted them down out of the blue
It doesn't really make sense to me
So I don't expect it making sense to you too.
Badfish Dec 2017
You give me the lonesome
jagged sting in my chest
That acts as my sanctuary
But now!
I fear it's the only thing I know anymore.

My new addiction.

My new vice.

The painful comfort I feel which gives so much satisfaction
Is the only control I have over my mind.
Seems as so I can't find what I'm looking for.

What The **** Am I Looking For?!
Im still working on it. just wanted to hear some feedback
Brianna Oct 2017
We wasted our youth on numbing the pain with alcohol and cigarettes.
We were young and naive.
You were charming, I was a mess, and we jumped into the flames together.

We wasted our twenties on screaming into almost full answering machines and bars with mindless conversations.
We were wild and free.
You were a mess, I was  fed up, so we danced down dark alleys together singing rage filled songs to the moon.

We were best friends; we were trying to fight the same battle with scars across our wrists and blacked out livers as mementos from this war.
We were family;  we were just filling up boxes with old pictures of smiling and happy birthday cards from a mother who was never around.
We were lovers; trying to scream ourselves back into each others arms in hope that we could be the heroes we always wanted.

We were the kids your parents warned you about.
The ones with the broken past and the empty futures they said.
The ones with the alcohol addictions and the drugs habits we refused to kick they said.
The ones who lived in the night, who danced in the shadows but dreamed of the next morning they would have to make it through.

Cheers to numbing the pain at the expense of our livers and wasting our youth on impossible dreams.
Queen-Midas Aug 2017
If the world keeps pulling me down,
Then should I just let myself drown?
Writing after a long time. Life hasn't gotten any better
Erin Nicole Apr 2017
I think I hit the point in life where,
I'm just done.

I cried,
I fought,
I tried,

But everything is crashing down.

My demons are screaming louder,
Trying to eat away the rest of me.

And this time,
I'm not going to fight back.
Erin Nicole Apr 2017
The ****** up
part of it all
is that even though
she can hear
her own heart breaking
she's still willing
to love
the same one
who broke it.
WickedHope Nov 2016
I deleted my life
and I hate my new programming.
You know there's darkness in all of us, throughout our lives
The darkness corroded with monsters and misted with demons
Those who walk in the shadows alone
Are different from those who hold a hand from the light
These people are held by the ones who love them when they couldn't support themselves

But us? Well when we can no longer stand
When we can no longer push through
The darkness and its inhabitants do just as the friend would do
That's why we won't, we can't let them go
Because they were holding us when no one else would
The demons, the monsters are the most caring things in our life

To this fact one would think our lives must be pretty ****** up
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