It started this day, that year,
Initiated by chance, and the magic unfolded,
though I was blinded for long,
I thank you for ticking the twinkle in my eye!

The journey started unknowingly,
Flown stupidly, managed roughly,
Grown wonderfully, Spoken continually, untold silently.
The priceless journey stuns me as always!

The colours took time to show,
They came one by one,
Startling me at each stage,
The rainbow came with seven,
You came with limitless to space!

I thank the colour of Festivals,
Boundless thanks for everything you give,
My words may never be enough,
Wish every energy which flows wishes thy life,
filled with happiness and success forever.

I'm *******,
in absolute tears
and wishing that I could take it back.
I want to just curl up
and blast music into my eardrums,
but I don't have my earphones
because they're in the same room as you.
And I cant just go in there,
pick them up and leave,
and I can't just listen to music without them;
it seems almost disrespectful
to do anything but
sit in my pitch-black room.
In silence.
That is what people will expect of me,
and I can't break the silence.
Even the sound of the buttons on my keyboard
are too loud that I'm scared someone will hear
and hate me even more than they do now.

God,
I'm such an idiot.

Why do I always do this?
people are just trying to be nice,
friendly, supportive.
They're my parents for ****'s sake!
why cant I manage to get out a sentence
that doesn't make my mother leave the kitchen table
so that she doesn't have to cry in front of her daughters?
That doesn't stop me from knowing though.
And all the while I spit venom from my mouth,
I think to myself;
you *******, you *******, you ******* *******,
look what you did.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
Why can't I just accept that I'm bad for everyone I love
and just cut to the chase
and **** myself
before anyone else gets hurt?

I hear the constant yelling
I hear your constant arguments
I hear the fight you have
I hear the insults you yell at each other
When will it stop?
You yell and scream
You pull me into your fights
I see the things being thrown
I hear the demeaning things said
When will they finally concede?
It’s like living with 4 year olds
I can see the redness in their faces
I can hear the raw anger In their voice
I can hear the curses being thrown
I can feel the hatred emanating from their bodies
Do they know how that affects me?
Tensing up whenever they are in the same room
When they leave the room,
The Relief I feel is instant
For then next couple days,
Loud noises scare me
I’m constantly on edge,
Why should the people you love not love each other?
She says that you should just be quiet
He says well look at you
I just try not to cower away

We used to text all the time
We hated texting
But we always wanted to talk
Now my phone is silent

We used to say these cute things
Like I love you forever
And I'll never leave
And now it just sounds forced

We used to always want to sleep together
Talking all night
And cuddling close
And now we're canceling plans

You say your feelings won't change
But our interactions have
These seemingly small details
Feel like everything for me
And being around you doesn't feel the same
Because I know you've been with her
She's probably more fun than me
Especially with all the negative **** I'm feeling
So how can I blame you for bringing her up in stories
When I can barely look at you

heart is pumping
you grab my waist
a tickle fight begins
and "just friends" end
as you tickle my lips
with your kisses

She used to be my friend
She realised that I am broken,
And I can not be fixed.
and then she left
.

With untold nights which her sleep was unaccounted for.
As her breathing is the only thing alive about her.
Where everything else about her is simply dead.
Lays under the moonlight on her bedroom.
Forced nocturnally to repeat.

None knows of her horror,
As she refused to succumb anybody else to it.
Till her fragile soul could take not another single thread of pain.
And she would then die.
Every night. Every single night.

Come dawn she would rise,
Back from the dead;
From the cold darkness of she would caved herself into.
And that is how she keep fighting.
Surviving day by day with no improvements.

A woman worth the respect;
The appreciation;
And the great length to be with her.
And one should never stop her from herself.
That is how one should help.


-HIY