Dear fierce,
and little warrior.
The battle you are fighting
will not be won overnight
and your sword is so heavy.
You deserve to put it down;
you deserve to rest.

it is said that in the seconds leading to death life flashes before your eyes
but mine didn't

it is said that this disease is a silent killer
but I have never heard a din so loud as the chemicals consume my brain

it is said that 24% of people relapse within the first year

I was a statistic

I wasn't strong enough

but this time
I will not be a statistic
because I am not who I was

Rendered offenses
Sweat in the opinion, sakes
And due attention, to reason amends
Acting only a little saner, the stark stare a host makes...

Do you notice, evermore?
Anyway, the truth we prepose of...
Has a callous beginning, too sore
For a challenge of wisdom, that even does?

Prayers of dour anger...
For the aspire and means we favor
With a realm to a touch, tough knowing you and life's danger...
The reality of another fight, with sin as the futures flavor?

Speed has a question, dwindling in the wind
Suspect days, to redoubt and list the scope of an argument
That has the silence we afforded it, to keep the shadows of kin
Proper is as proper had, the hush of simple tomorrows, a problem to relent...

Toward sharing, the taste of a hoping kiss...?
That when recognized, sympathy is an answer; only a heed can tell...
The prayer of estrangement, has become a chastity's wish
Will a savior in love, know the better of kindness; here's your hell...

With a baring lip, that has suggested a toothsome reply to quips
And hearts to accept the solace of terror, a harrowing finish to past lies...?
That began and ended with a promise found in the bolting and gray wits
Of a dread simplicity, still running to wisdom's charity, which requited...

see, I loved you with everything I had
and I know you loved me the best you could without loving yourself
you were fighting demons of your own design
doing everything you could to calm the eternal flames rising from your core

I spent years begging them to possess me instead
years fighting for you to love me in a way you couldn't

in the end, I got what I had been begging for

now, I am trying to dampen the flames rising from my core
fighting demons of my own design

Himself, in a crying shame
Spoil me with a door, a fury too overt...
Excuse a jaded court, mellifluent by name?
A rosey future, a mission to earn the word...?

Worlds to weigh, a happier conscience
Ruses and voiced rage, particular to winds
Of times trying, the boot of legends
With the turn of somewhere simple into lent minds...

Fists in the air, a fight will remember remorse...
Sides of same and days rue, to collect a heaven
Is such a fickle repose, the dawn of a new force?
Worth one spare moment, to tell the difference as leavened

Throw after throw - to tell a characters tale
With the gaunt terror of risen voices and deeds
That calmly collected a house, that secluded with what will
A house of reaches of tomorrow, has the sense of entirety of needs...?

A piece of cake, a dread to eat it...
There in an uncertain stare, with a rolling hiccough
The total of vice to share, the challenge of a chosen wit
That has seen the truth, a course to new causes that knew the tough

For a new land, the barriers of meagerness's echo
To a chastity in round eyes, and the curiosity of a waiting hour
Let with the light of opportunity, in these steps we hold
A mind at bay, that knew one thing more than patience, a salt so sour...

I don’t want to feel this way.
Lost in my own head,
A fog of pain and confusion,
A storm of heartache and void.

I believe there is more than this.
There is sunshine
And hope, my dreams,
My future
And love.

I don’t want to feel this way
Because it makes it so hard to move,
It becomes impossible to smile
To think
To breathe.

I know this is temporary
That darkness is followed by the dawn
Or a flick of the light switch
Or the flash of a torch
Hell, I’ll even take the spark of a match

Because I don’t deserve to feel this way
And I refuse to
Even if I can only fight it off for today
Or the afternoon
Or an hour
Or a minute

That moment will be mine
I am not going to let this beat me
Because I still have strength to fight.

I don’t want to feel this way.
I don’t want to have to fight to stay.
I don’t want to hurt those I love
I don’t want to lose myself.

But I don’t get to have what I want
So fight I must
And even if it's just for today,
Right now,
I choose to stay.