I’m having the best day
I’m in my zone
The force is with me
As I effortlessly flow
Empowering all around me
With the confidence to grow.

Often I find the days never-changing,
Doomed to repeat themselves.

I, Inescapable,
Like a moth to the dim blue glow of fluorescence.

To escape is one thing,
But, to watch friend and foe revel in their ignorance is another.


Like a feline sees the world through a sheet of glass,
I may be doomed to the same.

I wonder when it happened.
When was the breakthrough.
When I started to feel nothing.

From what I can remember
I could feel happiness.
But I don’t remember how it felt.
Last months I don’t remember much.
I forget so easily, everything.

I believe it can appear again.
Somehow, one day.
The emptiness will start feeling less empty.
Less invisible.

When I was younger I barely had any bad thoughts.
If you don’t know things the reality can’t hit you.
But once you get to know them
They will haunt you.
Forever.

Like air going through your lungs.
You think you need it.
But in reality it’s just dust stopping you from breathing.
It doesn’t matter where you are.
Even where the air the clearest.
You will breath the dust.

Between us and this dying world
Are conversations and stuttered words
That we left in the hands of midnight breeze
I float in your laughter, too light
to be weighed down by my fears
We lay under this sea of stars
Pointing into the sky
Casting nets into this galaxy of dreams
Calloused hands caress this wind
As stories pour out of our limbs
And we wash away yesterday's storm
Waiting for the sun to rise
Basking in the terracotta sky
Asleep against the coolness of the ground
Smiles still remnant on our face
And in all this was a heavy heart
That you pulled out from my chest
Held it in your palm as you slept
And I existed in your ease

I starve myself
But not to feel pretty and skinny
I stop eating because I’m not hungry
I stop thinking about food
And I stop thinking about what
I have eaten and what I want to eat
I go hungry even if there is food
I don’t think hard about what I should
Eat and what I should see
Maybe I’m scary
But I starve myself
To feel something