"Goodnight, sweet dreams"- I used to say.
Then when I came back home
after staying at grandma's for the holidays with the cousins,
I listed their names as I went to sleep,
good night, sweet dreams accompanied with each.
"Good night-sweet dreams, Nani Ji"
"Good night to everyone whenever your night might come"
"Sweet dreams to everyone whenever your night might come"

guests used to comment on
all of those picture frames
pinned proudly to the walls.

you would smile politely
and give them a tour.


“there’s my daughter
on her first birthday!”

“there’s my son building
a fort out of snow!”

“there’s our family
on vacation at the beach!”


you used to get so many
compliments on your
picture-perfect family.


I wonder what they
would have said if they
knew about the holes
punched into the wall
underneath those frames.

**** for rebirth,
                  Rebirth of humans,
The angels inside
                  Fight for Light.

A family that can't be helped
            saved
it needs not TO BE
A soul against my heart
bio my heart
            against my brain
Shaping life
My mind cruel
Slaughter of the stupid
.choices wrong.
Heat of the burning hell inside.

Let's be merry.

You’ve befriended discomfort,
Left behind your childhood streets,
only to walk down dark foreign ones.
You kiss away your mother tongue,
Surrendering to an unfamiliar one.

                      ...............

Your battles are carved into my blood vessels
and I will carry them with me
as reminders of patience and faith

Grandma is one with the mound of earth again
Like a fallen old flower, her left-over self rests quietly on a tiled-terrain
Her fragrance reaches me, in another corner of another continent, where I hear the words - ‘Grandma died’

Grandma is dead- and the day has rained tears on my bed
I’m drenched Drinking her absence- her presence - drinking in her memory once again
Silence falls, I search for Grandma then… in an old-gold bangle- she wore once
Tomorrow, her dust, bone and ashes will be washed by the river-bed
The river-stream of her will enter the great ocean - it’ll all be one, then- the earth, ocean and the river’s-bed

Her soul has long fled out the world-window into a divine light
I’ll be watching the stars every night...whispering a quiet prayer
Hoping, someday, we meet again… Grandma

I hear the roaring of the brook, so wild, untamed, and free.
It’s rhythmic and musical, beautiful,
catching everything that comes its way.
And I see my reflection smile back at me.

The world as I know it has changed.
Everything is different now.
Everything has been rearranged.
All the lights have gone dark on the stage.

All the sounds, they’re gone.
Silent.
All the people, at home.
It’s so quiet.

Will it be this way forever?
Has it changed?
Will it ever go back to how it was?

The music is part of me,
And this family is too.
How can I survive this
Without conduction and notes to read and review?

I knew that this would end,
But I never thought it would be so soon.
How can I make it through this
Without humming a single tune?

I thought that we could say goodbye
And I wish I could hug you now
I thought that we could put on a show
And watch you take your final bows.

I don’t know if we can make it through
But I know we have to try
Because we are the singers, the dancers, the dreamers
This isn’t the only time we cry.

Artists face so many struggles,
On that you can depend.
The only difference now it seems
Is that we cannot comfort our friends.

I will never forget the time we’ve had,
And I hope that you’ll remember too.
Because through the years of tears, confronting our fears,
I did it with help from all of you.

This is a family, this is a life
It can be hard for some to understand
Just how much the music has changed us
we are grieving for the loss of our chorus, our band

This is the end of so many years, and this is a feeling so strong
Eyes water, tears fall, heart breaks, and still we brave it all
Because we are a unit, a family of friends,
And this both beginning and end.