Your paper tears
falling
descending
dropping into open palms
improper
unfounded
fictitious weaving interconnected
as they dried and left a residue of
falsehoods
deceit
distortions of why they fell.
   
                              So I walked away and my tears were real...

I was strong, you made me weak
You broke my barriers down to an empty husk
I let you in, and you grabbed on tight to my heart
You tugged me back to your game every time I tried to get away.

I was broken, you played on it.
False concern.

Pulling me further into your game
Your lips pressed against mine,
Deeper once again.
Your smile which lit up your face in turn lit up my heart as I thought I was the cause of it
The glint in your eye as I could not retaliate against your jokes
Your grandiose delusions of your own self worth
and your narcissistic ways,
all drew me in further

You're magnetic

******* brought a life back into me which I had never known before
A racing pulse
A want
A need for you, for your skin against mine

But I was a distraction,
Your little quick fix of attraction
I could never be her,
I could never do what she did to you

I'm not enough.

don't get too drunk
that you lose reality
or blinded by the lies
told under your nose

don't get too drunk
breaking your own heart
digging a hole in your soul
for the promised illusion

don't get too drunk
that you change so much
you're unable to find yourself
ready to turn your life in

don't get too drunk
clinging to the addiction
of poisoned temptation
the alcohol of false love

It's a shame to exist in a world
Where loyalty is currency
That friends only befriend you
For their own ends
That people don't listen
When you say the truth time and again
That they accept the lie of "I'm fine"
And it's only when you cry that they give you a piece of their mind
That they're willing to corrupt you with thoughts
And laugh as you clutch your head, screaming, drawing on the walls
And laughing all the more when they set you up to fall
And stand over you, triumphant, when your life is agonising crawl
And when success is nearby and you're happy,
Well then they make you stall
Second guess and doubt yourself
And you listen because you think that no-one else...
No-one else will

Find your true friends
And hold on to them,
Like the diamonds they are

Carbon Monoxide

I would like to believe
I was born in the clouds
amongst the angels,
bathing in so much sunlight
that now I can't help
but despise it.

The truth is,
you denied my heart
too many beats;
my heart's a bombsite
filled with carbon monoxide
and all your lies.

My own blood curses me,
dripping with your name,
I try to tell it we're
not the same;
I can't stand you,

You heartless, cruel monster,
imposter.

those that bore us with tales of drunken nights
cheap wine and what she said to him
who send you pictures of their pets
and watch TV because "everyone is watching it"

those time-wasters, those narcissistic fools
who call you 'friend'
who open their hollow heart
and what flutters out?
"my ex-boyfriend said..."
"when I was in Thailand..."
"Isn't that just like me?"

those reflections, they are not worth your time