Waking up another day
Waiting for this month's pay
Hoping one day that I can say
All of this was worth the wait
Maybe then I'll be OK

This 9-5 is frying my mind
These Friday nights are my only lifeline
And down the pipeline are my pipe dreams
Back when life seemed just like a rainbow
Now the rain pours, where the pain goes
Now I just stay low, wait it all out
Wait out this drought, till I can shout

Money doesn't come for free
But **** I wish it came from trees
This ladder that I have to climb
It's all just a matter of time
Wondering when I'll finally strike gold
That'll be when I finally let go

Lying inside my bed,
floating in hell,
trying to burn my boots off
this unearthly smell

Thank you for caring about me,
but I can only hear myself

All your voices
sound like construction noises,
I'm trying to talk with the devil

Just give me a second,
I'll come back to the table,
to eat with you all,
so that life's all good and stable

I am tired of
the constant cycle of
aching and faking,
hurting and feeling,
breaking and healing,
fixing and mending,
It's like a never ending cycle,
and I am just tired.

another day another wallowing moment
in this unfamiliar skin
searching for the component
that feels missing deep within

another hour another feeling
how they change so quickly
my back tied to the ceiling
lack of control making my stomach feel sickly

another minute another headache
come and go in a blink
I pray that they stop for my sake
too tired to even think

another second another toll
on my head filled with words
needing something plentiful for the soul
ears longing for the sweet tunes of songbirds

the pain beneath my eyes
showing the purple and blue taint
my mind up till sunrise
wearing my exhaustion like a canvas wears paint


© L.F.

I don't even know how to talk about this.

My mind's playing games with me,
I am the end of the game.
My mum wants to help,
she doesn't understand,
me and help don't get along with each other.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this.

It doesn't seem like I'm actually talking about something,
meanwhile I'm talking about everything.
Different inflection when I see myself,
shadows and stars sleeping in the same bed.

I don't know why I'm so difficult to understand.

you tell me what you've learned
from your "failed" marriage
when you fell for someone else;

"you can try to shirk away love
but the act of doing so will destroy you"

and a pang of sadness cuts deep
at the pit of my stomach as I realize
I will always be destroyed

Mondays are a drain
they are dementors
they feel like an anvil
they taste like recovery
and exhaustion
like your neck isnt strong enough
and your brain is rebooting
i am constantly troubleshooting at life
looking for a solution
to make getting out of bed easier