What Was Lost In False Exchange

Wait. Why was this minstrel running?
Helter-skelter, with no safe place to hide;
A race seemed beyond waters and sand,
The rose he gave thrown onto blazing fire.

Willing to walk 1000 miles and more in a blizzard.
And the wounds I got won’t be healed with a plaster.
Sad still there exist no cure for stupidity.

Love would make one ride on false hope,
Owing the heart and body eternal apology,
Sure, it holds the entire tradition of cruelty;
Town to all forms of joy, pain and despair.

I live on the bank of blissful ignorance  –
Not knowing what’s nor what’s once were.

Fear what you can’t create nor can you force.  
As the sun sets slowly it held the moon closer:
Love is only found in books and in poetry.
Stars perplexed, wind jumbled, oceans standstill;
Even when you gave all they can’t accept?

Ever since I heart the idea of you,
X out were all the senses in me.
Caged by sadness and petulant cry,
Happiness and love are now foreign to me.
And it digs deeper and deeper and deeper:
Now, neither me can change this nor God.
Gathered are these memories, locked up with a tear;
Except what was lost in false exchange.          

©2019 – m.a.

Your voice changed my mood like a chameleon. Flooding my mind in deep nostalgia, I am surrounded by reminders of what pleasures we partook, we indulged, we unapologetically did, we confidently said and we therapeutically wanted. We ravaged, we begged, we, were, human.

Your scent still leaves a trace that even a bloodhound could find. Roses vanilla and a hint of cinnamon; my tongue tingles from the pleasure of closing my eyes, reanimating the masterpiece that went down at your unguarded borders.

But, I kept it cool when you introduced your new boyfriend.

'Hello this is__'

I replied 'What's up, the names Kitarō'

But as I spoke, I could tell we were harmoniously in sync when he called out your name twice; no response escaped your lips.

The third time triggered your body to respond; when your crimson lips were finally free from it's white prison it was photographically known of what was unsaid on your beautiful luscious red painted canvas

I knew you wanted me.

My tires went over the cracks in the road
As I drove by people standing on the sidewalk
Exchanging words, emotions, dreams
I passed them on my way to the cul-de-sac
To exchange money, drugs, humanity
The pedestrians penetrated me
With piercing eyes of persecution
They thought they hated me for being there
But their hatred is what led me there
They injected hatred into my life
The way I injected ****** into my arm
They injected banality into my life
The way I injected ****** into my brain
They injected austerity into my life
The way I injected ****** into my heart
They prayed that my sedation was of a more permanent nature
Before that they prayed for the permanent sedation
of my ****** nature
Wanting me to be fully awake
But not fully alive
They snuck into my mind
And exchanged emotions with emptiness
I snuck into their house
And exchanged furniture with emptiness
They exchanged words with the police
Who exchanged my freedom
For everyone else's peace of mind
But the exchange between the excommunicated
Exacerbated my exiled existence
The steel bars placed before me
Paled in comparison
To the bars that surrounded my heart
And faded from memory
When the Xanax bars entered my system
Until I couldn't walk anymore
Making me Professor X
Hiding out with the other mutants
Trying to lecture the world
That zombies turn to demons
If the exchange isn't examined
When they exit their enclosure
Sidewalk standers turn to explanations more elementary
Eliminating empathy
While elevating themselves above us
This is the epitome of our exchange

You're the needle ***** to our contraception
your seed swims sick through tunnel vision
you contradict your contradictions
direct your horses to Gallup opinion

Take a sip from your golden chalice
you've poisoned our wine with Iocane powders
your time ticks of Lyme diseased malice
fictitious fortunes, SEC counts the hours

Oh Lord I pray this won't sleep off
Oh Lord I pray this won't sleep off
For You