A sum total of immediate family gathered
at a seaside Italian cafe
half loving getting time together
half dreading the weight of the urn
taking turns to tickle flippancy
in an honoured tradition of laughing
in the face of the massive horrors of life,
scales on the crusty familial armadillo
Itβs time
Each step beyond the coffee steam
feels further into foreign territory
where defences weaken
even though the climb is sweet
we walk up a hill to reveal a familiar vista
that youth ignored huffily, heartily
and adulthood yearns for,
where memories pepper current steps
The humour shield holds until the ash is cast
when my throat clutches to swallow
knowing that my reasoning canβt break this,
even though youβd wipe it away
You arenβt allowed to soothe these tears,
they serve for the years and years,
pay pennies into arcade machines
and buy novelty rock never eaten
The bedrock and foundation of us
stands on this sometimes sunny head
holding hard to the ropes and lines
until the next handover
Would have been mumβs birthday on Saturday.
