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Some days I feel like glass,
Of tiny shards put together,
Ones I found over time and pass,
With clumsy hands I gather,

I pieced one next to the other,
Like a puzzle I needed to solve,
I acted like my own doctor,
To make whole and then evolve,

And even though some pieces are amiss,
And crevices need to be filled,
There is still a feeling of completeness,
And I was proud of the me I built,

But then I met you and BAM!
You gave me a really hard shake,
One that reminded me of what I really am,
Pieced-together glass that could easily break,

It’s not the first time I’ve been broken,
But unlike the last when I could see,
When I trusted myself to reawaken,
This time, a darkness envelopes me,

Unlike last time when pieces around me revolve,
And eventually fall down onto a solid ground,
This time, they will scatter and dissolve,
Into an emptiness, lost and never found.
#broken #glass #fragile #piecingittogether #puttingyourselftogether #lost #apart #shattered #afraid #fear #shaken #traumatized #trauma #glassmetaphor #recover #heartbreak #lost
A quicksand cyclones downward at the center,
A spiraling hole spun around by the sands that enter,
They scratch at the innards of my heart,
Pulling everything down and ripping it apart,

I’ve tossed so many things at it,
But they just drop into this endless pit,
Nothing seems to fill it up,
Instead everything just gets ****** up,

It’s like having my flesh sliced by scattered grains,
Spun at high velocity as it sheers against my veins,
Carving out tiny wounds accumulate into scars,
Blood seeping, lost and disappearing with its cause,

Cries are ****** up and then dispersed,
Scattered into pieces until it’s no longer heard,
Screams are silenced by a ringing vacuum,
Run through bleeding veins buried in my womb,

It’s like something wants to come up,
Like a volcano that’s ready to erupt,
Everything that’s been sunk and saturated full,
It’s getting ready to finally burst my soul,

I didn’t want to shut it all up,
It wasn’t my choice to have it all ****** up,
I tried so hard to pull it out with my strength,
But I underestimated the length of my pain,

It’s been loaded and treated with all its vice,
So I don’t know how to clean it up nice,
I think my exterior is too thick for it to ever explode,
But I think that one day, I am going to implode.
CandidlySubtle Aug 2020
Glimpses of what it was,
Moments of sweetness,
Left a tang of bitterness,
And... a smirk
CandidlySubtle Aug 2020
My heart's been busy busy,
Dizzy, fizzy, silly,
Buzz buzz here comes those bees,
Wheelie, feelies, kissies.
CandidlySubtle Aug 2020
I missed you today,
As if a breeze had walked in,
Then left me to cold,

I said your name today,
But my voice was drowned,
By the laughter of people around,

I remembered your touch today,
Disintegrating into fine sand,
Blown away on a deserted land,

My heart ached for you today,
Like spikes piercing upwards,
Poking away at fallen clouds,

I cried for you today,
With heavy tears that sunk,
Dropping down into a dark well,

I feel alone today,
As I’m missing you,
By myself and on my own.
CandidlySubtle May 2020
I dreamed a dream,
It was beautiful and serene,
It spun me off my feet,
With kisses that tasted so sweet,

But in this dream,
A shadow lurked about,
For I was spun so dizzy,
So dazed that I could not see,

My mind knew what my heart denied,
Still, I followed my heart through and through,
I ventured into a fantasy,
And continued to dance, a bit clumsily.

But as the music intensified,
I sensed the shadow only stronger,
So I turned up the song even louder,
And danced the dance even faster,

But soon my feet grew tired,
And I could hear scratches in our song,
The shadow creeped up and stared,
As my dream became a nightmare,

In this nightmare, I shook all over,
With fear, I clutched onto a fading light,
I wanted to believe this dream could be real,
I wanted to dance with him forever,

But deep down, I probably always knew
That the dream was only a dream,
That one day, I would need to awake,
And face this shadow that was always there,

All I wanted was to dance with him forever,
And if he had danced just as hard,
I would have belonged with him forever,
But alone, my heart grew tired,

Alone, I had to endure this nightmare,
Alone, I listened to the scratches,
Alone, I stared back into this shadow,
Alone, I opened my eyes to see clear,

I listened with my heart,
I felt with my soul,
The aches in my body,
The tears that would not hold,

The shadow wasn’t a nightmare,
But a reality tucked away,
My heart finally gave up,
As my mind started to speak,

“It is a beautiful dream,
But it isn’t for me”,

I wanted to dance with him forever,
But now with him, it’s all over.
CandidlySubtle Mar 2020
Oh! I am so bored with the same,
The repetition that makes my brain go lame,
I am frustrated of tasks so mundane,
All my routines are just so plain,

The changing of clothes in the morning,
I draw circles on my teeth--I’m brushing,
The mindless drive to work on the same road,
I am just on an automatic mode,

But all of a sudden there is ****,
And I drop and sink into a pit,
So dark, I can’t see what’s ahead,
No, because I stop caring what’s ahead,

Like everyone turned off the light,
And there is no more color in sight,
The taste of food turns bland,
Can’t even jive to the tunes of my favorite band.

And then I really slump into auto-mode,
Slugging to work on the same old road,
Brushing my teeth from swirl to swirl,
Still showering when my world is in a whirl.

Still changing my clothes at every sunrise,
And then one day I suddenly realize,
As I slurp the milk and the grains,  
There is still a part of me that remains:

My dear routines.

When everything feels dead,
And nothing beautiful seen,
Routines keep me fed,
Routines keep me clean.

When my heart has hit the sack,
My mind saturate with thought,
My routines got my back,
My routines need not be sought.

When there’s no motivation to be,
When I don’t want a thing,
My routines does it all for me,
My routines that cost nothing.

When it takes all my energy just to smile,
And all time is lost in it all,
And the next step feels like a mile,
And moving forward is like a crawl,

I still got my routines,
I still got my routines,
I still got my routines,
I still got my routines,

My routines to take care of me.
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