#ed poems on Hello Poetry

arin Jul 2019

alchemy

equivalent exchange
three days of hallow
in exchange for
three days of strength
but there is always
consequences
dizzy stumbling falling
headaches chills fatigue
whether it was the sickness
or my debt to be paid
it was a fair trade
to feel untouchable
unstoppable
capable
godly

#ana #ed #fasting

Destiny Jul 2019

My older brother...

What he should've been:
a protector...
a mentor...
a body guard...
a role model...
a leader...
a supporter...
a loving brother...

What he's been:
a predator...
a bad influence...
a target thrower...
a pushover...
a follower...
a hater...
a brother who used me...

I'm the only daughter in a family full of men and my oldest brother living at home thought I was the perfect target for ****** assault.

****...I do not like the word **** and quite frankly it is overused and joked about too often!!!

One day I will feel the justice I deserve...it will not be from his mouth or my mothers mouth or anyone else's mouth, but MINE! Mine is all that matters!!! The validation coming from my lips...NOT HIS!!!

My older brother...his name is Robert, but I wish to secretly call him Bob just so I can gain a simple laugh and humiliate him in my mind...

My older brother...
My older brother is EVIL

#**** #depression #ed #anxiety #bpd #selfloveoneday

Anne Jul 2019

I’ve Been Here Too Long

My skin is splitting at the seams like a poorly made children’s sweater,
being worn by a planet so big
that it becomes its own universe

This might be it, and maybe that’s fine

#sad #depression #suicide #ed #bingeeating #weight #weightgain #poetry #lonely #help

SuperCunt Jun 2019

Throats

Stick your fingers in my mouth.
Please.
Stick your fingers in my mouth.
Like I do.
Stick your hand down my throat,
Please.
Honey.
I’ll show you how.
To reach down my esophagus and rip the life out of me.
Like I do.
Mmm.
Just like that.

See? It’s not so hard.
Now do it again. And again and again and again and again.
Please.

#sick #**** #ed #contentwarning #b #missyou #coping #badcopingskills #dont #do

Sawyer Jun 2019

f a l l i n g

I wanna hear my stomach collapse
Rumbling like screams echoing in an empty tavern
I want stalactite ribs
And stick-man fingers,
Thighs the size of a child’s wrist and
I don’t care what I have to do
To get it

I am obsessed.
Addicted to falling,
Falling numbers,
Falling deeper into disorder, disrepair,
Falling for a girl named Ana
Who tells me I can have everything that I want
For easy daily payments of pain and despair.

But, it feels oh so good to be hungry.
Aches and pains make me high,
And sure, it’s scary knowing I could die but
At this point…
Maybe I’d be okay with that if I get to live one day
At 100 pounds.

What is wrong with me?

i should probably talk to someone about this

#anorexia #ed #eatingdisorder #thin #weightloss #sadness #despair

Aliah Brimhall May 2019

Binge and Restrict (tw)

You'd think 4 years would be enough
I longed for control and then I lost it
In this cruel cruel cycle

Binge
1000's of calories
guilt
shame
bloating
I feel control when my stomach hurts
I feel comfort

Restrict
10's of calories
euphoria
shame
grumbling
I feel control when my stomach rumbles
I feel beautiful

This cycle is meant to be a form of control
but here I am
bingeing and restricting
until I can purge this hurt

#ed #binge #restrict #mentalhealth #control

elle jaxsun Mar 2019

laps for furry friends

i hope my thighs
never shrink to the size
i wish they were

where else would my
beautiful furry friends lay?

if anything i hope
my thighs double in size
making more room
for furry friends

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I just wish I didn’t give a **** about the size of anything on me truly

this was also deleted but *shrugs*

#dogs #dog #thighs #ed #body #image

Heather Apr 2019

Hungry Bones

My therapist blinks
Once
Twice
“But you know that’s no good”

I stare thoughtfully
“Yes”

“Yes what?”

Yes, I know how many calories it takes to keep from fainting,
To keep the growling at bay
To stop the cramping
But that doesn’t stop my body from revolting every time I take a bite
It doesn’t keep the calculator from running
It doesn’t make unsafe foods seem safe

Because nothing stops the pain like physical pain. And up until this point nothing has ever felt quite as good as hunger.

“Yes I know I can’t skip breakfast and lunch”

But my bones know the truth.

#anxiety #depression #struggle #ed #recovery #edawareness #healing

Chloe Jackson Apr 2019

Numbers

It's all just numbers, isn't it?
Day by day,
Year by year,
Always counting.

Day by day look at the number on the scales.
Let the caloric calculator count until your head is filled with numbers.

Minute by minute count the seconds it takes for him to text you back.
Let the doubt and fear multiply until your head is full of him.

Term by term let a percentage on a piece of paper define your worth.

Don't we have better things to do than count?

#depression #numbers #anorexia #ed #recovery #love #deep #personal #hope #thoughts

Luna Apr 2019

hunger

It feels like
sometimes
hunger is the only thing
keeping me
grounded
here
awake
alive

#ed #eatingdisorder #hunger