You'd think 4 years would be enough
I longed for control and then I lost it
In this cruel cruel cycle

Binge
1000's of calories
guilt
shame
bloating
I feel control when my stomach hurts
I feel comfort

Restrict  
10's of calories
euphoria
shame
grumbling
I feel control when my stomach rumbles
I feel beautiful

This cycle is meant to be a form of control
but here I am
bingeing and restricting
until I can purge this hurt