Keep away from bad company if you want to see the new day
as dark clouds will quickly gather to drive the light of hope away.
________

it whispers as I drive past,
luring me in,
I park near the rocks.

I exit the car with my long locks,
descend the stairs,
run with the sand,
wind in my hair.

I breathe in the salt air,
and stare at the force of the ocean,
its beauty,
its strength,
and yet,
its fragility.

I pause.

As though to awake from a dream,
tired and drained,
I walk back to the car,
suddenly aware of the sand stuck on my feet,
and my knotted hair.

I am having hard time accepting truth
No clue how to survive
World without your presence Is not a world
In which I long to be alive
No one cares the way you did
Space in heart nothing can fill
Numb myself with substances
Sorrow impossible to ****
No hope for better tomorrows
Barely make it through today
Room shrinking with each breath
Choke on each word I try to say
Pass the time getting high as I can
An attempt to avoid dwelling on greif
Temporary band-aid to cover wound
Relief always too brief
Move only when necessary
Every step exhausts my feet
When walking I slowly trudge forward
As if legs are stuck in concrete
Around others maintain composure
Can even manage to smile
Inside back of my mind pain throbs
Prowling all the while
And I bottle up tears within
My eyes never stay dry for long
For my effort is ever in vain
Failing to be stable and  strong
This is more difficult than I ever imagined
Nightmare manifested in one blink
Depth of my agony cannot be captured
In range of sound or intricacies of ink
Box of memories stored in brain
Mustering courage to close
Replay past moments until my head spins
Speeding in circles train of thought goes
Is there end to the madness I feel?
Chaos warps perception into knots
Drive myself crazy examining events
Can't quite connect the dots