wouldn't you know it but I
oh I
a little girl wouldn't know it either would I?
no no but I think I feel it
or rather I feel my thinks
can't decipher any of it but a wink
and my thinks think
shouldn't I know it myself?
but nay I keep it all tucked on a very rather pretty little shelf
my thinks didn't label my feels so
im learning the things I didn't know I didn't know
a mystery
even to little me
so how should I be able to answer how do you be?
and I stand here on the edge or the brink
for I can hardly barely breathe as its all coming at me
give me just a moment
to breathe in my feels and my thinks
and perhaps the moment after the moment I'll be
just a little bit more free

So we found some green pine cones
with black spindles poking out
and a funny, fuzzy fur.

When we pulled apart the scales,  
a pungent Christmas smell
wafted from its fruity core.

Speculations ran amok
until we recognized an
unblossomed magnolia

Acquainted with the minutest details
Asking the deep but obscurest questions
Walking paradox each waking moment
Conundrums within constantly astir

Then I know we walk same mysterious ways
Hidden enigmas part if seas open
Waters from dead rocks when all hope is lost
Yet we walk, the light irresistible

Apart in time and space irrelevant
For the soul's immortal and eternal
Speaks the same words in the same awe and light
In language beyond words, speech without sound

i did not know,
that loving her would be
unravelling
the bubble wrap from the
thorns she held within

pulling the insubstantial strands of
spiderweb silk apart
to discover the crimson that
did not come from her
but from the storms that lashed her
into
into a million pieces.

i did not know
falling for her was akin to being
impaled on her vicious
thorns

but also
being folded into her
embrace
velvety smooth against
my skin
her head resting on my shoulder
her arms tight around my waist

i did not know
that within that exquisite exterior -
for she was so perfect to me -
hid a darker side
which she had never
dared to
reveal

i did not believe
that this fragile flower was
far more tenuous
than anyone had seen her before

that she had faced entire
hurricanes
made of ice and flint
winds that had scorned her
with bitter frost
and mocking glimpses of relief
thunderstorms

alone.

and when i pulled away from her
retreating
retreating back into
the warmth of the sunshine that awaited me
that when i was soaking up the healing balm of the
sun

i did not know
that she would pull her petals shut
that she would fall apart so heartwrenchingly
that the mystical colour which i loved so
so dearly about her
would
drain
from

my rose.

When we ask questions
about how to be
optimally joyful and happy,
we have a chance
of discovering
some answers.

Is science
about discovering
how an unknown Destiny
is happening?

When I feel sad,
what should I do?
Does discovering something to do
which makes me joyful and happy
increase my joy and happiness?
Like walking in a park?
Like eating tasty-nutritious food?
Like reading and writing poetry?

When I think I 'know'
I stop asking questions,
I stop discovering
what an unknown Destiny
is bringing surprisingly
in the present-moment.

There comes a time at night
when I am too tired to pretend
to be what others want me to be
and can be only myself;
late night is a time
when it is easier to discover
who I am.