I don't know how to feel
It seems this isn't real
Our love so deep for years
Ended with bruises and tears
Now you're gone and dead
Relieving my feelings of dread

No more reasons to be afraid
No more asking me to get laid
No calls in the middle of night
No more arguing and fights
It's hard to be so sad
When what's gone is the bad

Yet, my love was deep
Your future I wanted to peep
Improvements I noticed were made
Can't make progress from the grave
So now I sit here bemused
Devastated. Relieved. Confused.

i'm at this point where
i need something bad to happen
so that i can talk to someone
because there is no
apparent reason for me
to feel the way i do right now
so i can't talk to anyone about it
i can't tell how devastated i am
or how much i'm hurting
it feels like something is eating me up from the inside
and it hurts more than ever
but nothing happened
so i'm just gonna sit here
in the dark biting my tongue
hoping that someone will come
hold my hand and tell me that it is okay

*(s.m)

What a terrifying day to be alive
What a terrifying week
What a terrifying year

50 lives lost
No a single rainbow is shining down on us today

I cry for the lives of the people i never knew
and i cry because we never know what those souls could have done for our world

Another day older, but i feel so small
Nothing i can do, but mourn and hope for a better tomorrow

Justice went un served for a victim who spoke out,
and the rest of us cry, because we didn't have the courage

Why cant the world see non consensual *** does not exist
There's  only one word for it, and its ****

All the horror going on around me, each tear falling from my eyes is bringing each small ounce of hope and happiness with it

This week i have told myself i don't want to live on this planet,
but that's a slap in the face to everybody who no longer has the chance

Tomorrow i will be a better me, i will honor the lives lost to violence and hate. I will put forth more generosity, kindness, and understanding for the ones around me who lack it. I will not give up. The people committing these horrible acts of violence and intolerance need me to be the best person that i can be.

They climb up each wall, curved like the sun's breast,

At sunrise.

Then crawl, listless, to the rough ledge

To commit suicide.

They plummet.

Taking my aspirations as they dive.

Two teardrops with crushed hearts,

And, now, crushed heads.

Sunset.

I heard about them
'bout your cries
'bout your weepings
and your tears

I've heard about them
bumping into everything
on the sleek narrow bridge
on the frail dock by the bay
on the gutter when it rains

I've heard about these
muffled screams below
the sheets
and silent sobs
beneath the moonlight
and the pitch black
darkness of tonight

I've heard about you, too
walking through the
sharpest stones
limping through
the darkest shores
drowning yourself
in deepest points
of misery

As I step up
close to them
on those gloomy
sights of yours
and let myself be
lost in the agony
of the tune that
you keep humming
through the doors,
I felt the worst

There, in that very moment,
I've heard just one solo cry
One so devastating
One so heartbreaking
And in that one moment
I know just the reason
—and that reason is me.

Guess it wasn't really, we never even touched
Just words upon a screen I guess,they didn't mean that much
They did to me, I planed my life around you
Guess you was just playing me, untill you was through

I try to make it worth it
Don't you see that im devasted
Try to tell you who I am
Meant for life
cause I'm gonna be me
im gonna be free
But you ignore me
lock up your heart from me
You never let it go free
I beg you
Even go down on my knees
Just listen
Open up your heart for me
that is all i need
you dont let me be happy
its because of you
that im frown upon
every time i stand up
you push me down
But i tell you this know
im stronger now
im wiser now
i dont look back in my past
i go toward the future
but i stand in the present
that is what i nuture
i meant to be me
i meant to befree
and now you lock up in syphony
now im not what i use to be
im here were im meant to be

my heart is made of scattered stars
glowing bright with their intent.

the constellation beautiful from afar
until the darkness comes.

Collapse is all there is.

the sweeping desolation.
shadows of once-brilliant celestial bodies
buried deep inside a shell with a
devastated soul.

my heart is made of scattered stars
that fold under pressure of
Love. Passion. Finality.
but when one star dies
the rest burn brighter
in the absence of its light.

The time sways
Forth and back
Through the light
Happiness shines
Smiling bright
Everything that felt fine
Now are crowded in a sack
Closed, taped, not my way
It kills me,little slow deaths
To have them go with
A part of me alive
Why do the cure of emptyness
Has to have an end
Left with that painless ache
That creates a hole deep in pain
A member lost in my chaos
Returned by their ignorance
In the place which thy fitted
Now asks for coverage
It can't even be masked
For they cutted it broad and wide
It kills me,little slow deaths
To have them go
With a part of me alive.
That they never feel
How my elated heart smiled
When their smiles were around
They never cared for what
I gave up in the flick of eyes
Mesmerised by the sunkissed times
All they did was,
Find the ink to my page
And filled me up with their
Promising words
All they did then was
Give up on me
When they found that
I was filled up to brimm
So they took away me from me
With some that belonged there's
And with some that I never cared.
All they did was left me bereft.