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Hey daddy,
can you hear me?
I miss you.
It has been a hard
Two years
without you.
I really miss you.
It is Fathers' Day tomorrow.
I remember the last
Fathers' Day
that you were alive--
I didn't greet you.
We had a fight
and I was the stubborn
selfish child.
I thought I was right.
But now, two years too late
I realize I was not.
I am sorry.
I miss you.
I miss your hearty laugh,
your warm hugs,
I miss you waking me up
by tickling my foot--
I remember being annoyed
when you wake me up that way.
What would I not give
to have you wake me up
again?
I miss you calling me
to eat breakfast
before going to school.
I miss you doing the laundry
even if I am a big girl
already.
I miss you.
I miss the days when you
would drive me to school
and fetch me at 5pm.
Back then I wished you wouldn't
so I could spend more time
with my then-boyfriend.
What would I not give, daddy,
to have you pick me up
from school
once again?
I miss your silly ways
of making noise
during New Year's Eve.
For the past two years daddy,
my New Years were quiet
silent
dead.
Like you.
The last New Year's eve
you were alive,
the New Year's eve
the year before you died
you were drunk
and I welcomed 2013
feeling so lonely
with mom in UAE
and you, on the couch
too passed out to wake up
amidst all the noise.
Somehow, I knew
the next New Years won't be the same
I didn't expect
that it would because
they would be spent without you.
I miss you telling me you love me
and all those kisses
that used to really annoy me.
I miss you.

I am sorry.
For being a failure.
For being a bad daughter.
Sorry if I chose that guy
that *******
over you.
Sorry that I didn't listen.
I thought I was right.
I had so much pride.
What would I not give, daddy,
to have you here right now?
I promise, this time I would choose
you.
I would choose
to listen.
I would choose
to love you.
I would choose
to swallow my pride.
I would choose...

I wish I could turn back time
love you a little better.
I'd go back further than the day you died.
I'd go back to the time
when our family was whole
I would do whatever it takes
to keep it that way.
So that you won't have to be a drunkard
because you have broken your heart.
I'd go back, daddy.
I would go back and fix you if I could.

I am turning 20 in three months now.
Remember your promise to me?
It is two years overdue daddy.
I turned 18 without you.
You promised...
You promised we would dance
with or without a party
you said you wouldn't miss the chance
to dance with me.
I was waiting daddy.
But you never visited me
not even in my dreams.
It has been two years daddy.
I wouldn't mind having a dance at 20.
What would I not give daddy?
What would I not give
to dance with you
one last time...
Like we did when I was 7.
Ironic because
you said not to choose
Dance With My Father
as a song to dance to
with you
because you are not dead yet.
But now you are.
And I miss you so much.

I love you daddy
I am sorry.
Sorry for all the feels. It is Fathers' Day tomorrow. And I missed having my daddy tell me he loves me...
Brittny S Jun 2015
Fatherless Child
Brittny Shaffer

Life hurts
Emotions hidden deep down in the dirt
Your not sure which direction to go in
There's to much confusion, you have no time because your life is thin
Trying to walk right but your on the path of sin
No feelings of your own being self centered just within
I always had a vision in mind
When I grow up I want to be just like my father
Hoping that he become the next African American doctor
My dream was that he'd become something powerful and he showed he cared
But my deepest fear was that he'd never be there
But who am I to say
Everything does not go right
Everything is not fair
Because with the power of God only thing you have to do is decree and declare
I wish my father would've realized
He had a purpose that he was not placed on this earth to get chastised
When i look out of the window
There is something that I see
A father not caring about his child he didn't believe
What was it about me that you didn't want to receive
Why was it that your hopes was always in the streets
Did you ever look back to say I have a child who is in need
Or was your focus on woman who didn't put fourth  good deeds
But DAD you loved them over me
Strangers came first they was people that you pleased
Your family was a meaning fairytale
It was make belief
I paint the picture I have an image
You took life as a game and not as a privilege
You was in your own world
You had your own village
Not even concerned
The devil had you he was in control
Had you in the streets doing a daily role
Stealing
Dope dealing
Got you locked up
and you said that it was wrong
But never thought about me you left me at home on my own
No food, no shelter, no comfort all alone
Your game was just a cattle to **** it was so strong
Before time your life was over it was gone
I remember the time I saw you on your death bed about to die
You held your hand out and said ill make it don't drop a tear don't cry
But you never realized the pain I went through because of your lies
The hurt I carried with me because you never tried
I lived 16 years no father a long ride
A father concerned only about him full of pride
Where was the love that needed to be supplied
Where was the hope that I put in to be prescribed
But people
Im here to share a message with all of the fathers
We as people need to rise up and set a standard as a generation
Become more of a father hood for kids all around the nation.
Its never to late stop with the procrastination
ALL aboard join the father hood station
We shouldn't be built of frustration
Fathers should be a role model to daughters and sons to say I strive for determination
Im tired of seeing children suffer due to separation
Fight for what you love, fight for your children
Having them apart of your life should never be a hesitation
They should be # 1! Make that your expectation
Looking for a father who never look back to get me
But on his way out said baby please forgive me
Father why
You only want me in your life because your about to die
Now I should walk out of the room and  just say GOODBYE
When i needed you DADDY COME HOME DADDY WHERE ARE YOU DADDY FATHER never got a reply
We as children shouldn't have to wonder if our fathers could be a rely
Free at last free at last thank GOD almighty were free at last
But where are our fathers
No new outfits, no new shoes
  Fathers are Found as killers now on the news
I just wanted you in my life
Me as your daughter why couldn't you make that sacrifice
FATHERS your daughters need you
FATHERS your sons need you
They need that fatherly advice
If I could get one wish
It would be for my father to hug me and give me that one big kiss
My fathers coming back he didn't forget about me
For all the fathers out there who abandon there children
FIX IT NOW let that be your fulfillment
We are all meant to shine as most of us do
But we as children don't deserve to be hurt and go through
SO change take action make your children happy and experience something NEW
Im out make sure you be about that positive life

Be Blessed
Mary Jun 2015
My father's love
Is like a
guiding star
That shines brighter
Through my
**darkest hours
Although I know he won't read this, he knows how much I love him. He is my star. Forever a daddy's girl
Poetic T Jun 2015
Whisper's* into the pitch, unseen breath but no one is there,
She giggles and calls her dad silly,
Its just her imaginary friend.
A seat taken told by eyes so small, questions
Of who sat earlier as the imprint left, and
To the touch heat still bleeds outs on the palm.
Invisible,
Cloaked,
Unseen
To those  not of innocence eyes,
For youth is pliable easy to twist to the
Will of those moulding there sight.

"We played hide the breath,

Daddy was sleeping as you climbed on top,
Held his breath.
Contorting,
Grasping,
Panic
In his eyes, till breath found as you let go.
We ran into the bedroom giggling at our fun,
daddy was silent in the morning,

"Father was no fun,

"Morning precious,

I smiled as the breakfast fell on the floor,
He looked confused as I laughed out loud,

"Daddy,

"What my little lady,

"Was it fun not to breath,
"To suffocate as if in a dream,

He didn't speak, all colour left his face
Was it something I said??
A man came around,
He was all in black, with a white collar,
She didn't like him,
She hated this man as he spoke words
I didn't no, didn't understand,
My friend screamed, but only I heard.

"Daddy stop it, your hurting my friend,
"She's crying,
"Daddy,
"Daddy,
"Daddy,  

"This is for the best, your friend isn't nice,

And as never there, like a shadow seeing the light
She was gone, and all alone I was again.

"Thank you father,

"That wasn't his dad, granddad doesn't look like that,

We moved soon after that, to another new place,
In a block of homes, like a stack of rooms
That had doors,

"Hi there,

They smiled so many new friends, to play
So many to play our games upon,

"Who you talking to precious,

We had learnt our lessons from the last house.
Never tell, where would be the fun in that.

"Myself daddy,
"Just myself,

As he walked away, I looked into the hallway
Outside our door, so many new friends
Invisible to their eyes, but I was going to
Show the other children the fun, that they could
Now have, we would play with mothers fathers
See their faces as our friends played with their lives.
Poetic T May 2015
"Daddy,

Why does the sky sparkle, like glitter thrown
Around a room. like fire flies sitting still in
Darkness shining their light on me and you.

"Sweet heart,

The universe is a wondrous place, of everything
And nothing in one big expanding space.

"Daddy,

What's expanding??

"Sweet heart,

The sky is every moving further away, but these
Little glowing sparkles are suns shining away,
Each is life, burning so bright a long, long way away.

"Daddy,

Will I see them, will I ever great these diamonds
Burning brightly in the sky, can I touch that which
Twinkles in my eyes.

"Sweet heart,

You are always near to those that give light to the
Sky, they see you looking up, see the twinkle in
The stars dancing in your eyes.

"Daddy,

I see them dancing in the darkness, I see them
Shooting across the clear night sky. I wish I
Was a star floating all the way up there I would
Shine from a million miles afar.

"Sweetheart,

Shall I tell you a secret?

"Daddy,

Yes o yes please.

"Sweetheart,*

We are all star dust from the beginning of
Time, everything has a little piece of a star
In it, we are all carry a little part of the
Universe every person, flower and raindrop
That also falls from the sky..
Written for my daughter who loves space as much as her daddy :) astronaut in training
I wake up on a yogibo. It's comfy,
But I'm in what is now just
My room.
It feels empty.

All the clutter that made it look lived in is in the three empty sock and underwear drawers that used to be
Hers.
All the pictures of us and half the nerdy posters were removed from the walls.
Half of the games, movies, books, Magic the Gathering cards,
Are all gone so the shelves look bare.
Half the closet is empty.

I walk into the hallway and pass three doors
The first door leads to a bathroom,
The second a closet.
The third is what I now call a "guest bedroom".
The only things in it are an
Empty dresser covered in
Princess stickers...
And a bed frame.
I try not to leave that door open.

I walk down the stairs and grab my coat.
I go out to my car, sink into my seat, turn on the engine and check my phone.
I've got two text messages, and a new tinder match.

I ignore it all and open spotify.
I start playing Watsky's album "All you can do".
I crank the volume to 24 so I can't hear my own thoughts.

I check the first text message.

It's from the
Mutual friend of the nice girl
Who I might date when I'm better.

"Hey don't worry about it, she has a lot going on and is super busy all of the time.
She wanted to meet you to see if she liked you but I think shes not really into you.
She said you were super nice, she just can't be with someone as outgoing as you
I think. She's super shy. I really thought she might like you but I guess not. lol.
Sorry!"

I check the second text message.

It's from the
**** buddy in Kennebunk
Who I met on tinder.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"
Sent at 8:33pm yesterday.
I reply: "nothing! wanna hang today? when are you free?"
"I'm free pretty much all day/night. Warning:
I just got my period, so I feel like absolute ****.
I need good feels and comfort(food), if you will. so when?" I send:
"Uhh, I got errands to run... i'll get back to you" In return, I receive a polite:
"Go **** yourself. :) "

I go check the tinder match...
"...Oops."
Unmatch.
No reason.
I Drive to work.
I belt all of the lyrics and jam to "The one" and "Whoa whoa whoa" and "sloppy seconds".
Shut the car down, clock in, apron up, shout: "Morning, family!"

How am I doing? "I'm awesome! how are you?"
How am I doing? "I'm wonderfull! what brings you to freeport?"
How am I doing? "I'm awesome, peak or dark roast?"

How's my daughter?

"Well actually... I
Broke up with her mom and I
Wasn't the biological father so I don't get to see her anymore,
and my manager said that customers are getting
Uncomfortable around me because I am too open so that's the
Scripted version I have to tell you."

Even though I'd love to tell you that I don't know how she's doing, and it kills me.
How I told her mom that even though she didn't have any
Compassion left for me, and she lied to me,
Tortured me more than any human on this earth and was slowly draining the
Life and sanity out of my body like a leech, that I
Knew what I was signing up for when I started to call myself
Daddy.
That I was leaving her, so we could both get
Better, but I was not leaving that little girl.
And if she would let me
Love her, or
Watch her, or
Buy her birthday presents that I would because she was the best thing to ever happen to me.
And when you ask me how she's doing
All I can think about is how I earned that first "I
love you,
dada."
How I made her laugh more times than her
Mother made her
Cry. How I tucked her in and she made me read her
"Oh The Places You'll Go", over and
Over and
Over. Screaming when I said she'd go
On through the hakken kraks howl, and
Giggling when I said she'd move mountains.
I raised her for three years and she called me
Daddy.
But her mother said that because I wasn't the biological father I don't have any right to see her.

"How am I doing? I'm awesome."
"How am I doing? I'm wonderful."
"How am I doing? I'm waking up."
Allyson Walsh May 2015
His hands are large and strong
I knew this all along
Strong enough to hold me down

Smiles are contagious
His are crooked and malicious
Watching me squirm, crying

My daddy is not safe
I know now because he was taken away
But I thought this form of love was ordinary

I didn't mean to get him in trouble
But I was afraid when his hand was my muzzle
Now everyone looks at me like I'm made of glass

My mom says I can't talk to him
But I just don't get it
He said he wouldn't hurt me

My daddy wears orange
Mom answers his phone call with a look of warning
His clothes are in boxes down in the basement

There's a stack of papers on the counter
That mom's been staring at for the past hour
I think I need to help her with her homework

We make the bed with stains across the mattress
I don't think I can keep up with this practice
I pretend I don't see the guilt in mom's eyes

My mom and I sleep next to each other at night
Because we're both afraid he'll appear in the morning light
Looming over us with his hungry eyes
For the 1/4
Do not keep quiet
saranade May 2015
I was in a six car collision
there was an executive decision made
to execute an evacuation of a body done with precision
by helicopter excision to division this family
and make a permanent revision to the vision held.

It's probable my daddy was being taken to a hospital
but he could have been going on a popsicle ride
to a proverbial icicle ride in the sky for that's all I knew of flying
volatile tears that never healed unstoppable fears.
goodbye father
Will laird May 2015
“Do you see me daddy , I’m going so high!”
I did, in fact, see her, going so high, and my hands tapped and fidgeted on my chest in a nervous display of fatherly concern as I fought the urge to rescue her from the swing that, I was sure, conspired to dump her unceremoniously onto the hard concrete beneath her.
“I do see you baby!!” I assured her, forcing a note of excitement into my voice that I was sure bordered on hysteria.
She gracefully kicked her legs, gaining momentum, and the blue sky welcomed her as she soared toward the clouds.
I watched her, the wind kissing her hair, as she smiled in the freedom of flight.

“Daddy,can you push me?” She asked gently.

My heart soared with her in the clouds as my hand touched her soft back, encouraging her escape from the confines of the wingless, flightless things held captive on the ground. I knew that she would fly alone one day, but for now, she was taking me along for the ride. My beautiful little girl.
Jules Apr 2015
God, strip me back,
Cast all my demons back to the shadows,
Then mould me, shape me,
Into the person I know, deep down, you created me to be
Hold my hand for the journey is far,
Hold it tight and never let me go,
I need you, God, I can't do it on my own,
Make me vulnerable, make me feel every hurt, let me fall
But drag me up and let your love pour in like floods,
Fill me up,
God, strip me back and create the daughter you destined me to be
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