skin left sore and damage.
My purple flesh leaves marks that signify hate within others.
Pain left from fathers and mothers, sister and brothers, friends or foe.
I  believe the skeletons I hide, have more guts than I do.
Being pushed around and abused by those close to me without fighting back.
But I know I would rather take a thousand cuts before giving one.
I may seem so well put together from the outside, but I know on the inside I have been torn apart.

Just an inch
without a flinch
of a river flowing red.

But then I said,

Just another inch
without a wince
of silver staining red.

I see you
You’re the girl who’s too put together
For what her heart feels
For what her arms scream
You wear band aid sleeves
Your lips spill out lies
But I can see past
Band aid blinds

It’s your little secret
That kills you inside
No one knows how deep those cuts go
Deeper than your skin

You must be in agony
There’s a monster clawing at your heart
And no one else seems to care
You feel you’re bleeding out
In front of them all
And no one says a word

You must be so frustrated
Seeing your own hands cut your skin
When no one around you needs
To destroy their body
Just to get through the day

You wish you could rip off the band aids
And let them drink in your brokenness
But you never do

My friend, I want to tell you
Everything will be okay
But you’re the only one
Who can make that promise
All I can do is tell you
I see your cuts
Because I had them too

And I thought it would never get better
But I was wrong

I hope more than anything
That someday your cuts will
Turn white just like mine
And you’ll wear short sleeves
And not be ashamed
And that one day you’ll see past someone’s
Band aid blinds
And tell them your story
Of how you thought your pain would last forever
But in the end
It didn’t

Trigger warning: Cutting, self harm


Not technology
Not an accessory
Not a tool
Not a clock
Not a device
Not jewelry

My watch is a mask
A disguise, a cover
For the darkness I hide

As long as it’s there
As long as it stays put
They’ll never know
That underneath
There are marks which prove
Irrefutably
I’m living a lie
I’m not alright

But I can keep it quiet
Hiding my wounds
Beneath my watch band

They'll check your wrists,
But not your thighs.

They'll hear your laughs,
But not your cries.

Smile much, laugh loud, make jokes and lies,
And they won't see the depression in your eyes.

Just keep calm and starve yourself,
You need to be pretty, forget about your health.

Go look in the mirror on the wall,
We need to be skinny, thin, and tall.

Another cut upon your thigh,
One step closer to goodbye.

I am complete -
with or without him.
he is not the glue
for the cuts
on my heart.
instead,
he stands by me
as I heal them.

One more time, one more time.
I’ll just do this one more time.
One last time and I’ll be fine.
I’ll just do this one more time.

One more time, one more time,
The crimson red is such a beautiful sight.
One more time and I’ll be fine.
Let me just do this one more time.

One more time, one more time.
The silvery gleam greets me once again.
One last time, I’ll be fine.
I’ll just do this one more time.

One more time, one more time,
Fresh roses are piling around me.
Is that you? Cruel angel of the world?

Take me away, one last time.