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I hate that there is always a question mark
What will the future hold? One day, will it all turn dark?
The thoughts in my head cause so much fear — like a circling shark
I'm still so afraid of losing you. I know we've come upon better times, I know we're the happiest we've ever been, but I'm still so terrified of losing you. I just wish I could break down and tell you how much I love you — I do love you. So, so much. I love you.
The loneliness is crushing when you're not around
It feels like my chest is tied down and bound
Your absence makes my head feel like a merry go round
I miss you so much. I feel so needy—I just wish you knew how much I hate when you're not near me. I love you.
  Sep 21 The Nine Doubts
AM
i can feel you
slipping from my fingers

the harder i try
the faster you fall from my hands

no matter what i do
you return to the sand

where i’m losing you forever
I’m still fighting the fear of losing you
You should know that everything I feel is true
How we got here, I haven’t a clue
My head is my own worst enemy
My words are like a crown of barbed wire
You won’t get inside to see my thoughts
“You wear a crown made out of barbed wire...”
Most days I feel like a slave to your desires
To keep you in my life, I must do as you say
I wish you just loved me for me; It leaves me so tired
I’m so afraid that I’ll lose her if I don’t bow down to her every command... what happens when I have no more to give? Will she move on to the next person who gives her entertainment?
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