I was born with sadness built in

Even my grandmother said, that is too much pain for a child to know

And so I stand in my shower

And I cry

And I don't care how ugly it looks

And I cry

So hard it feels like retching

And I cry

From a place I have always known

And I cry


I fear I always will.

Do not let the silence fool you,
The screams are stifled, through and through.

The gentle glint is in their eyes,
Soft smiles grin in wild surprise,
Though the man pretends to sleep,
He hears the words and faintly weeps.

When you walk in the empty hall,
There's no jubilant footfall,
Of yesteryears' purple vigour,
Just vibrant souls that you ignore.

Do not let the silence fool you,
The screams are stifled through.
Do not let the silence pacify,
There is no rest, waiting to die.

Underneath the bridge, I am standing, crying, and writing a message to beg for your forgiveness.

i’m unable to unpack
the damage those words did to me
at an age
where i was so vulnerable,
so open, so naïve.

i still cry,
i still cut,
i still look at myself in the mirror
and tear my skin off

i still torture myself to their photos.
a printed copy of her face glued to my mirror.
and my heart burns every time she appears on my feed.

i disagree with what you said.
through shameless stares on the street, praise, and adoration.
my confidence grew
where i can finally love myself
and admire me
more than you could that time.

but i think about her every day
the way i lied on your balcony
and cried
the way i chopped my hair
did my nails
and changed my face

all because of one text
“she’s cute, but not like her”

You have no clue what I went through.

Crying on the bathroom floor,
explaining to my mom
everything I had hidden from her
for the past few months.

Weeping for hours and deciding to compose
the hardest letter I ever had to write.

Sobbing because I thought I'd never
speak to him again.

But then crying tears of joy
when he finally came back.

A few days after, dying on the inside
because he left again,
but seeing his name pop up
on my screen after another month,
wondering what I should do
and deciding to reply and

finally

tears slowly falling from my eye
as I faced the fact that I had to say
goodbye.